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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years ago

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NSFW Alphabet // Ethan Torchio

words // 2383

warnings // smut, clearly its nsfw headcannons

pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader (might be mentions that seem like they are for f reamer but comeon theres lingerie for every body 👁️👄👁️)

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. an apology to the people on my tag list i think i accidentally have not been tagging you this whole time i am so so so sorry omg

request // yes, it was a reblog i cant find it right now

summary // self explanatory

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Regarding you, Ethan is the king of after care. As rough as he can be in bed, that’s just how sweet he can be once you're done with it. Goes full on dad mode (don’t know how else to explain this). He will have water, painkillers if you’re now in pain, a washcloth to clean you up, new clothes, and of course the cuddles.

“I’m alright, Ethan. I can do it on my own,” you say as Ethan walks to you with the wet cloth ready to clean the mess he made on your body.

“I know you can, amore. I just want to take care of you,” he says as he leaves a kiss on your lips.

I can also see him being the one to make a big fat breakfast the morning after, or at least get up early to pick something up.

Now I also feel that he is in need of some aftercare. It depends on the day really, if he’s had a pretty rough day and all I feel like he’d ask for some backrubs after. In this case he’d fall asleep so quickly like omg. But on the biggest part I see him feeling the need to reassure you that the things he said (i think we already established that this man would call you a slut) are not how he feels about you and will be asking if you feel the same.

“Do you love me?”

“Wha- of course I do, Ethan! Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know… I guess - I guess I am worried that you don’t after what I said.”

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

When it comes to himself I feel like he really likes his chest and arms. Like I don’t know but I see him really getting off with you pretty much mastubating on his chest. Ya know what I mean? (i think you do you little sluts). He pretty much enjoys anything you do on his chest. I can imagine him looking at the mirror after you two had sex, seeing the cum on his chest along with the marks you have left and just smiling.

“What are you looking at, love?” You ask, seeing as the man is standing in front of the bathroom mirror from your spot on the hotel bed.

“Nothing, just the mess you made.”

“Mhm, and I bet you like it, huh?”

“You have no idea… Hey, are you sure you got tired? Cause I think I can do another round.”

As for his arms, as I said, he simply really enjoys that he can man handle you anytime, get you in any position he likes and feel you scratching them from the pleasure.

When it comes to you, Ethan is an ass guy. Say what you want but the man is an ass guy, end of discussion. He loves anything that involves your but. It does not explicitly have to be something like anal. He simply enjoys seeing your butt and holding it in his hand. It does not matter if it’s big or not, if it has stretch marks or whatever. Wear lingerie that he likes or that itty bitty teeny weeny bikini if you wear them or even some tight pants that make your butt just poìp and he can not contain himself.

I think I have said that to someone here (i think I had sent an ask to zodi @ icouldbeyourputtet) before but I feel like this man is very into spanking, like not even the rough malicious way. but this very wholesome chill way.

You had been talking about it all day, not having had a minute alone with each other for days, you could only dream what you could do that night after everyone left.

A playlist was playing in the background and a cigarette was burning on the ashtray next to your legs, you assuming a similar position, as said cigarette, bent over Ethan’s lap as he caressed your ass cheeks and back, playing around with the lingerie set he had gifted you a while back. (Did I just go to search my fave porn vid, lol exposing myself, and get disappointed because I can’t find it and translate it into fanfiction? yes yes i did, so bare with what i can remember)

“It’s okay, baby, you can take a little more, come on,” he praised, leaving a spank and yet another soft rub on the very red cheek.

He continued, going with the music, a very nice pattern, not very rough spanks but just enough to cause pain, pleasure and redness all over. Accidentally the man landed a few very rough ones causing a gasp and a series of giggles as you practically fell off his lap.

“Ethan, what the hell?” You laughed getting up from the floor and this time sitting on the man’s lap, sharing kisses with him.

“What,” he copied your action and laughed, “it was not intentional. I got carried away by how nice your butt is.”

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He is and is not messy. He will not want the cum to be in every surface possible you know, he will be careful but at the same time this man just loves to see his cum on you, whether it’s your back or your stomach, or in you if you’re ok with it. I bet he has a teeny weeny breeding kink but not necessarily because of the idea of breeding you but rather because he looooves seeing his cum run out of you… I'm not sure if this falls in the breeding kink category but alright

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes to fuck you while watching porn.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like he is pretty experienced. From what they band has said in interviews and stuff, he seems to be getting some pretty often (no one, NO ONE, is surprised at that). He is not acting arrogant tho (not unless that’s the dynamic of the night), he is willing to learn what works for you and you specifically

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

As I said this man is an ass guy so I’d say anything that involves having the view of your ass. Humor me but i think he’d really like 69 with a female/afab partner (don’t know if this works very well with two dick-baring people lol). It has it all, eating you out,

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I think it can be both with him. He will not exactly try to make jokes but if something like the previously mentioned spanking incident happens it’s def welcome.

Now as a general rule I see him being pretty serious. I will be honest, I’m getting brat tamer vibes from this man so it’s all pretty serious when you really get into it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Considering he’s an Italian man and if you look at a lot of photos of him he def fit the ‘mediterenean’ man type. I see him just barely grooming. I don’t see him really shaving or whatever but he also wouldn’t want you to choke on pupic hair, he much rathers you choke on his dick

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It all depends, really. He can be quite intimate with you but it all depends on the moment. There are different occasions for everything. For example, and this is a paradox that I hope I’m explaining well enough to understand, he is not very rough (will not be very aggressive and stuff, like to the extreme those tik tok boys want to pretend they are with their * growling * ew) but he will be rough. intimidating looks, spanking just enough to make you feel pain and redden up your ass cheeks. He’s like that mostly when you are being bratty.

Most of the times, like we’re talkin kind of lazy sex moments, it more wholesome ig, like very intimate and just comfortable and almost comforting. Ok, but like why do i see him having sex and having casual conversation (not the most common, i see this as like lazy day off, having nothing else to do and not being like super horny but being more like h o r n y … am i making sense?)

Setting the scene, you two are at home, both have a day off but it’s kind of raining so any of your plans are ruined. At this point it’s at around 10 am, not early, not late. You have missed each other and both have made it obvious but you are both in a very tired state so you opt for something not too much.

Plain and simple missionary is what goes around this time, Ethan on top just holding your legs around his waist,, going at a pretty medium pace.

“It’s a pity the weather is bad today,” says Ethan staring out the window.

“I know, we were going to go to the beach… I’m bummed about it,” you say, short of breath as the man continues his pace fucking you.

“Mhm, true. But this is better, amore, no? I’ve missed you so much,” he breaths out the last part, moans interrupting his words.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He does that pretty often, especially if you are not around to help. Sometimes it’s because of you that he needs to. I would def see him exchanging naked pics with you and at first he does that to tease you but he ends up teased when he sees a video you sent of you masturbating.

Bets that he’d be taking photos and vids of you fucking on occasion so he goes to these when he misses you on tour.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

As I mentioned previously I see Ethan to be a brat tamer. That I see to be the main kink that kind of works around everything else.

“Can you stop this, slut? It has gotten exhausting. I told you no noise but here you are,” he ordered, looking down at you trembling below his finger tips.

His face was quite stoic, voice never wavering from the strict and cold tone he tended to have when scolding you on the daily. Most times it was leaving a cup out of the sink but this time the scolding came from misbehaving. As if it was not enough that he was punishing you for being a brat and riling him up all morning, now you had to disobey orders. It was getting to him for sure.

“I’m sorry daddy,” you whisper, Ethan seeming satisfied with the response.

“Aw, why so tame puppy, now you decide to be nice?” His tone stayed the same, his words imitating a joke but the whole ordeal was not even close to it.

Now as for other kinks (did I open a site because I could not think? yes, shut up), as a result of being a brat tamer dom there are some few more kinks accompanying specifically that. He is def into bondage, both tying you up but also being tied up on occasion.

“Puppy, I have told you that is not a way to treat me. Untie me,” he says calmly, wrists tied on the headboard of the bed, eyes fixated to you.

“Well, why not? You do it all the time,” you whine, placed on all fours, facing Ethan as you lean towards him on your hands, “I want in on the fun.”

If only he was not tied… Ethan’s mind was already going places, figuring out exactly how he would punish you after you untie him -or after he escapes the restrains, whatever comes first. You knew that, very well - in all honestly that was the plan, that is always the plan.

“Amore, let me go. Let me go and your punishment will be tame,” he voiced looking at you, now positioned on top of his lap, touching yourself right then and there.

“I sense you want to be punished puppy, don't you?” You simply nod your head, eyes closed in pleasure.

“You see, the problem is you will not enjoy what I am thinking.”

“Mhmn.”

“Well, get yourself off now that you can, cause after I get my hands on you… You’re not getting to cum for days, amore.”

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Honestly, anywhere. I can see him having a preference to the luxury of either of your houses or a hotel room but if you push his buttons just right, some restaurant’s bathroom it is.

why can i imagine him having sex at a weeding venue’s bathroom….. omg…..

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Honestly, both. I feel like he would be extremely good at giving it, but would never opposed to receiving

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s ok with them but he doesn’t love them, ya know?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.

Is surely try to do new things but it will always depends on what it is.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Come on. This goes without saying. He is a drummer for a living. He can surely go on for long…

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

I def feel like he has a fair amount of toys. Some for himself, some for you… He looooves using them to punish you.

(small mention to my last fic little puppet)

“Beautiful, puppy! You have been doing so good for us, taking your punishment so well, but we are not done yet.” A buzz sound is what concerned the girl, eyes widening at the toy.

It was a small remote virator, imitating sucking on the clit. The drummer placed the girl over his knees, stuffing the toy between his leg and her clit, shocking the sensitive bud. “I think you can take a few more spanks,” said the man, landing one at the expanse of her thigh, the skin giggling at the contact.

“Damiano, count,” ordered the assertive man, seeing his friend kneel in front of Y/N, kissing her and then doing as he was told.

“I think we were left on twenty-three. Twenty four,” he began, counting all the way to forty before the ordeal was over.

The whole time Y/N was shaking, just about to fall off the edge, asking for permission to cum but her wishes were not granted just yet. She was exhausted, overstimulated, frustrated, and now unable to move on her own. But, oh man did she need more. The two men were more than willing to assist her.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

A ton! It’s his specialty. Maybe one of his most common punishments is edging and teasing. He can drag it on for days

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He is not very loud but is surely encouraging you to be.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11 @teenyweenynightghost

#maneskin imagine #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin #måneskin x reader #måneskin imagine #måneskin fanfic #måneskin #ethan torchio imagine #ethan torchio

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enduracarrotchips · 3 years ago

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YouTuber AU

Hello welcome to Dating Scandal but with Twitter Involved (nightmare)

A little exposition here:

Link, Zelda, Sidon, Revali, and Riju are the most popular group of youtubers on the internet and have a huge fanbase that likes to theorize, draw fanart, and write fanfiction about them. Disclaimer, I don’t actually interact with real-person fandoms myself lol there’s just too much potential for drama and misunderstandings & they’re always bound to end in a dumpster fire but that is sort of what this au is about so.

Impa, Mipha, Daruk, and Urbosa are family friends that appear in a lot of their videos/streams.

(This is an art blog I swear)

enter vidcon 20XX

Link:

blows stuff up/sets stuff on fire with a side of cooking vids and gaming

most are filmed outside, he does those challenges where you try to cook stuff with limited ingredients/materials

has the largest fanbase of all of them, but not the most…intimidating.

does a lot of collab videos, mostly with Impa, Daruk, and Riju because they have similar interests/channels, but Zelda appears in his videos and is seen filming and the stans read too far into it

simps. i’m pointing at you.

Most popular videos are “shield surfing on rock!—how I broke my leg” “can Daruk eat Impa’s motorcycle?” and “how to inhale ranch dressing.”

Twitter handle is @ arsonistslullabye because he’s a hozier fan

45m subs

Zelda:

theories, analyses, conspiracies, and the occasional e x p e r i m e n t

she once got link to eat a frog for 50 bucks.

most people argue that she’s better than more popular YouTubers because she actually has quality content to give to the world and she has a lot of defensive supporters

She used to get a lot of hate before Urbosa spoke up about it and scared the bejeezus out of everyone

has an actual posting schedule

“Happy Sunday everyone, it’s Zelda Hyrule and today we will be talking about cryptozoology and why blupees exist, you cowards.”

Twitter handle is @ zeldaofhyrule and she is pan. just so you know. One of those calm extroverts that mystify me to this day.

18m subs

Sidon:

fashion/life hacks. Like gourmet troom troom but if they were real people.

Has the 2nd largest fanbase

most of them are girls

Sidon has a boyfriend though, which he told everyone at VidCon a few years ago

cue the drama and shipping and the entire fandom trying to figure out who the boyfriend is. A well known reddit thread emerged that presented the common guesses being Link, Sidon, and Zelda.

“But it can’t be Zelda, Sidon’s gay.”

“I’m not in the fandom but I thought Zelda was a boy??”

“Did you just say Sidon? Is that a typo? Are you saying that Sidon’s dating himself?”

Sidon x Sidon became a fandom joke.

Don’t look at me I’m just setting up all the worldbuilding. every fandom has their weird dark sides and Sidon x Sidon is the Linkcest of the Sidon YT fandom.

Mystery BF is actually Bazz, a pretty inconspicuous guy who appeared in a few of his videos. This was confirmed a year ago, but everyone still ships him with other YouTubers because they’re convinced he was lying to throw them off his scent. He really can’t catch a break and this is why you should not ship real people.

Twitter handle is @ officialprincesidon

says “beguiling” a lot

21m subs ᕙ( ͡❛ ▿ ͡❛)ᕗ

Mipha:

Sidon’s sister, hasn’t posted a single video but just has the channel for show because she appears in so many of Sidon’s videos as a model for his makeup tutorials and whatnot

has 328k for that. Everyone loves her, she’s great. @ mimipha

Revali:

Link’s sworn rival

Link thinks they’re friends

He kept popping up in link’s Twitter threads and making snarky comments until zelda called him out for not even following link (so why was he stalking his acc) which kept the Twitter drama to a minimum

Revali was the catalyst of a few popular memes and that’s where most of his subs come from.

drags link into a few challenges that always get a ton of views because of how competitive they get

“ITS JUST ASININE” is a running joke that everyone tries to get him to say. His @ is itsjustasinine as well

Urbosa is the only person who can win an argument with him

5m subs and growing rapidly. newer to youtube than everyone else.

Impa:

Doesn’t have a channel she’s just a mutual friend of Mipha, Zelda, and Link

Rides a motorcycle, so she is used in a few of Link’s videos.

@ ihaveamotorcycle because she thinks having a motorcycle is a personality trait. the most unruly on Twitter when it comes to replying to fan’s stuff, leaking upcoming videos and generally causing chaos.

Mipha’s girlfriend. That’s how she met Zelda and Link.

Urbosa:

Is actually a model, but she has a ton of YouTuber friends because she’s known Zelda since birth.

when she entered the youtube community she didn’t realize she would be adopting like 15 children

5m subs. her videos are professional & related to her modelling career. @ urbosasfury

I feel like she would do unboxing vids. I’m not sure what she’s unboxing.

Daruk

Just a friend of Link’s, fun guy. yells a lot. once ate a rock and had no reaction.

people are scared of him for that reason

Riju:

yoga & gymnastics & “ha look at how flexible I am its eAsY” videos

you know the type

she also does reactions and is sponsored by save the sand seals charities which she is very enthusiastic about. She’s also Urbosa’s niece and the only minor in the gang (15). I like to think that the champions YT community is actually not creepy so everyone respects her a ton

doesn’t post frequently, she mostly appears in Link’s videos to jump out of airplanes or whatever. And sometimes Zelda’s if she’s interested in the topic. 500k subs, but she’s always really popular when she appears in Link’s videos.

VidCon:

In the months leading up to VidCon, some fans on the internet made a few discoveries: first of all, that the inside of Link’s house is painted green. This is a big deal because all of his videos are filmed outside either in his backyard or on trips that he and the brosquad go on to do…whatever bros do. explosions. idk. The point is he had some announcement about VidCon and filmed it inside. Only the wall and a potted plant were shown.

However, the colour was similar to the the shade of Zelda’s living room. Fans dug through years and years of old videos and found a clip of Zelda walking through a hallway, where there was an open door and a glimpse of a houseplant.

There were 2 types of responses to the theory:

“They could just be roommates guys calm down”

“and they were ROOMMATES?”

others pointed out that Link could just not have a house and had to crash in Zelda’s

Some guy on reddit claimed he had a botany degree and declared that the houseplants in the clips were not of the same genus. Normal people pointed out that the plant would have grown 4 years between the clips and would look considerably different.

#Zelink trended on twitter for a while and people posted other old clips from both of their channels and the frog video blew up again

Impa retweeted a post tagged as #zelink with “rofl” and later publicly apologized for causing confusion.

Fans noticed that in the “can a motorcycle drive over my arm” (it was clickbait he’s fine) episode 2 years ago, Link was eating out of a paper lunch bag with his name written on it in handwriting that a few people claimed to look like Zelda’s, leading people to believe that she had packed him a lunch.

However, this theory was shot down with the counterargument that Zelda can’t cook. although. i mean how much skill do you need to make a sandwich.

No one knows what tumblr is doing at this time

Zelda wore a scarf in her “Save the Sand Seals” video that matched identically to the scarf Link wore when he travelled to Hebra to film a shield surfing video, but it’s been debated wether it’s actually the same scarf or not.

Neither Zelda nor Link has spoken up about the theories, and besides Impa’s one slip on twitter, neither has any of their friends. Zelda received a lot of backlash for the assumption that she was dating Link because he has a lot of delusional fans that didn’t want her to “steal their man” or whatever the hell that type of fan would get mad about

Oh yea and bolson & karson run a zelink fanpage on twitter sorry I forgot about that

after that whole mess, everyone was even more anticipant of VidCon in the hopes that some of their questions would be answered.

The whole batch went to VidCon this year: Link, Impa, Daruk, and Riju are a gang while Sidon and Mipha go together and Zelda & Revali each go separately. Urbosa is there for supervision moral support

Zelda has always been much better at dodging questions that she doesn’t want to answer than anyone else, so her Q&A went without a hitch. When asked to confirm the rumours she said “which one?” and then moved on to the next question (without actually confirming any rumours).

Link is generally a more awkward person but eventually said that he had filmed the video in Zelda’s house because it was nicer and didn’t realize it would cause such an uproar. Fans were disappointed, but Bolson claimed he saw Link and Zelda exiting the hotel elevator on the same floor after Link’s Q&A session. No one believed him.

Fans went back to theorizing over who Link, Zelda, and Sidon were all dating, because apparently they can’t just be dating unknown people and have to be with other YouTubers

Sidon and Bazz got engaged about a week after VidCon, making at least 4 preteen girls cry

actually try 4 million

Sidon x Sidon made a brief comeback but Sidon spoke up about his fandom for the first time ever on twitter and told everyone that no, he was not dating himself. eventually, everyone settled down and accepted that none of them were in a relationship save for a few loud fans.

Link and Zelda still got the occasional “when will you tell us who you’re dating?” comment but most of them were joking and the people who still hardcore shipped them were generally frowned upon. Zelda’s popularity went up after VidCon and she regained the 200k subscribers she’d lost after the first theory dropped.

Two months after VidCon, Link posted a video titled “Zelda and I’s House Tour!” and gave around 45 million people a heart attack

as revealed in the video, they had actually been dating since they were 16 and everyone’s just a fool.

the potted plant is named Hestu.

#listen. listen. youtuber au #idc if u came here to see genderless art this is what I am posting today #genderless art in the future though #anyways I'm so sorry #sidon x sidon trends for a few days and I feel bad for the ppl who have to handwrite the trending descriptions on twitter #like what would it be #reddit user @ steponmeurbosa makes a spelling error and sparks shipping between beauty guru sidon and himself #if someone tries to start discourse about YouTube fandoms on my post I am blocking you #headcanons #opinions #youtuber au #botw #zelink #breath of the wild #legend of zelda #thank god I got this out of my notes app

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1d-discourseoftheday · 4 years ago

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Fri 15 Jan ‘21

Everybody is listening to NOBODY IS LISTENING!!!! (I know, so cheap, that's on par with New Direction headlines, I'M SORRY OKAY. Never again.) Anyway the album debuted at #1 on the worldwide itunes charts and in dozens of countries, there's more awesome merch (socks! masks! mugs!), and Zayn (or various manifestations of him) are everywhere. He tweeted “Just wanna say, it feels great to share this with you all! everyone’s support and love means a lot, here’s to a great year hope it better than the last!” and he's out there answering comments (that'll be him; would a PA bother with those fancy fonts?), but is it him texting people back from the snippet number? Unlikely... is it him in the listening party chats? IDK but there's definitely a Zaynbot (well, staff in this case) in there as well (if you don't believe me the “we appreciate you” is a clue lol), is it him doing all the boring promo retweeting, ehh, and so it goes throughout the promo, Zayn is everywhere but where is ZAYN?? I feel like the blurring of the line between the man and the various bots would make (human) Zayn pretty pleased, the man loves a robot after all! HOWEVER, it would be a special kind of robot that would select the “I'm fingering myself” tweet (in which he was NOT tagged) to answer (“ya wha?”), and how lucky are we to have the real ting among us for this brief moment: who else, I ask you. WHO ELSE. And, of course, we got the biggest pure Zayn shot of all: the ALBUM! He also liked a tweet about the fact that Tightrope samples an Urdu song (by Mohammed Rafi), and reposted a fan's story from a NIListening listening party ft homemade party hats that were markedly classier than the no doubt expensive custom-made ones from Zayn's bday party, and a sexy new publicity pic was posted. We also got footage from a truck all tricked out to be a NIL-mobile! The back of the box van is filled with an installation of mirrors and NIL faces and black light and a spinning platform-- footage from there showed very few people present and they spoke of having a COVID-safe release party but given that there was a pro camera team present, there's speculation it was perhaps used to film a video or something as well. But whether or not that happened it does seem they drove it around to use for private celebration, a lot of people from Hadid circles posted about being there and there being a kid dance time and stuff. Lots of cool trippy footage from inside.

Today's Harry news again slants towards TPWK video chat rather than movie studio sponsored romance-- in what little Holivia news there is we get an interesting backpedal focus on being told that if Olivia and Jason were still together when Harry came into the picture (if this were real which it isn't) he “didn't know” and, in so many words in big old headline type, “Harry is blameless.” Furthermore, the idea that this might be “just a phase” for Olivia has been introduced. That astrologer was pretty on the nose in some predictions, but May or June for a Jason/ Olivia reconciliation seems awfully conservative to me; I'd be very surprised if we had to wait that long! Anyway, if they're trying to redirect Harry news to be about his music, I'm on board! Today we got more from Gabe and Ben Turner; Gabe says “He works to a really high standard but he’s unbelievably kind to literally everyone, all the time. Even if he’s under pressure, he never drops his standards of the right way to behave and being kind to people... You watch the way he is with the runners, producers, sound people, whoever… He’s treating them with so much love and respect that everyone works as hard as they possibly can to make his vision come true because he’s so joyful to be around” which could sound like more damage control, except that it's exactly what everyone who's ever worked with him says, so we know it's true. Ben tells us that the Golden vid was supposed to be different-- “the initial idea was Harry driving around LA with different people getting in and out of the car, people who were significant to the album or his life.” I guess it's handy they had the idea already right there to recycle for Holivia pics; but also I'm glad the video was what it ended up being instead of that. They also tell us that the TPWK vid was always going to be the final piece of the Fine Line era (“It was always supposed to be the last thing on the album run as an ending beat”) but that it ended up being held back longer than originally intended because the album did so well (and probably because of the way things were stretched out by COVID) and how that ended up being strange- “the video has stayed the same but the world has disappeared.”

An affordable candle from Target has been found that allegedly smells like... Louis? Reviews specify that he smells like “clean laundry” (I have to admit I have heard that said before) and vanilla and so does the candle, which is called 'cozy nights' and is said to also be 'a cute color' (it's white). I might want to pair the candle with a slight eau de wet dog, cause in MY fantasy Louis hangout Cliff is for sure there too, but the target candle buying audience may be fantasizing about, uh, different scenarios than me...

And finally, Niall on Niall; “epic... jesus I'm way too much“ (yes with laugh faces) plus he comments on his 14 million spotify listeners-- “next time we're gona get much higher.” He also posted to suggest folks should give Heartbreak Weather a listen so it seems he hasn't yet given up on getting higher numbers THIS time.

#zayn #harry styles #niall horan #louis tomlinson #Zayn to team:#'so listen here's my idea for promo: in the cyborg manifesto Donna Haraway proposes a world of fusions between animal and machine....'#I'm not ready to have an Opinion on NIL yet but I will say the choices for first and last song: CHEF'S KISS #perfection #me making a Louis candle: okay wet dog. weed and cigarette smoke. red bull.#spray deodorant (that'd be the baby powder everyone's always talking about I suppose). lingering trace of Harry's perfume.#can 'clean laundry' really be a sexy smell? if so what happens in your daily life once you've sexualized the smell of laundry #I feel like I would regret it

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kittypawnyah · 3 years ago

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Goodbye Marcy

Farewell friends

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Heya everybody, Kitty here! And oh boy, many of you may be wondering, what the HECK happened to your channel!? Well i'm here to explain it, both in full and short.

Long story: A few days ago, I tried out a new editing software I had on my pc for a while. Adobe After Effects. After editing this exact video here, I noticed I didn't have the media encoder (which is required to render the vid) turns out though, as I was downloading this in a rush, I had downloaded a virus (since it was cracked and not legit). This virus caused all my data on both my local and harddrive to get decrypted, which I was not able to decrypt so all my art, animations and stories I have worked on over the span of 4-6 years are gone. Except for like the 5% of it that I posted or saved online. (these drawings were still saved on my laptop cuz I was too lazy to delete it, however I did have to re-edit) This loss of files crushed me obviously, but I had no time to mourn as this virus also leaked ALL my data, from my Google to my Youtube, to my Overwatch and even my bank accounts. I was absolutely powerless over my whole Youtube, therefore this person started posting scams and unlisting my video's. These past few days i've been working my ass off to get all my accounts and data secure, whilst not trying to break down and give up :) I ended up getting most of my things back, including my Youtube today. Not everything is back and i've secured some things, but I don't know for sure since they went into my Twitter the other day even with the password changed. So if you see anything strange still, do let me know! But this is basically what went down.

Short story: I had download a virus, which encrypted all my local and harddrive files causing my art, animations and stories that i've worked very hard on for 4-6 years to be lost. It also got all my personal data and every account I possess. This including my Youtube and even bank accounts. I managed to work it out with Youtube and got it back today, the rest of my accounts should be secured now too, but there is still mild uncertainty.

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I hope this clears it up and i'm really sorry having been so powerless in all this. I kept my discord up to date: etcuGBWYjV and you can check it out next time you see something strange. I want to thank everyone on my Discord and different platforms as well for reaching out to me and offering me their help. It really warmed my heart and kept me going knowing so many people were supporting me during this whole thing. So one big thank you to all of you, you guys are my world. I guess you could say this video is a bit of a homage to my life's work being taken from me in one night, hence the title. I will not let this stop me, but it was definitely a hard blow. I'll try to keep looking to the future and not think about what I lost. .......................................................................................

Conclusion: Be super careful with what you download guys, even if you really want it. Do proper research and always back up your files. Be safe and think before you do. Don't be stupid like I was, being hasty never solves anything. I've learned it a couple of times before, but i'm certain I won't forget it this time. Sorry for the long fricking description, it was quite a rollercoaster i'm not gonna lie lol. Having said that, have a wonderful day guys. Take care!

#kittypaw #animation #marcy #sasha #anne #amphibia #marcyamphibia #sashaamphibia #anneamphibia #art #animatic #hacked #mattbraly #amphibiaseason2

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Witch”

Happy Saturday, everyone! Well, it's perhaps happier provided you didn't watch today’s episode lol. Getting through these 18 minutes felt like watching an extended version of a CinemaSins vid. I heard a little 'ding!' every time something nonsensical, contradictory, or just downright stupid happened. My mind became a pinball machine.

Which, in the interest of being fair as opposed to just snarky, only matters if you're looking for something resembling emotional depth in this show. RWBY, for all its faults, is enjoyable as a mindless spectacle. It's when you expect — or simply hope — for anything more that this very fragile house of cards comes tumbling down.

If it’s not clear already, today’s recap contains copious amounts of salt. Fair warning.

With that disclaimer out of the way, let’s dive in. Episode nine is titled "Witch," which is fitting since many members of our group go toe-to-toe against Salem herself. The narrative issues inherent in having your heroes fighting their final boss years before the series is meant to end might have been avoided if it weren't for Oscar's ridiculous, sacrificial attack... but we'll get to that.

We open with a sweeping shot of the Atlas battle, as hundreds of dead soldiers segue into endless grimm. Hold onto that image for a bit. At the end of this carnage is, of course, the mouth of the whale. We cut to Jaune, Ren, and Yang already safely inside.

"Well," says Yang, "that was harrowing."

I'm on the fence about this choice. On the one hand, yes, it's good that RWBY knows it can skip over extraneous scenes. We have NINE characters to keep track of and develop, fourteen if you count Ozpin, Maria, Winter, Ironwood, and now Whitley. Plus villains. There simply isn't time to show every insignificant moment... but was this insignificant? Obviously finding Oscar and escaping Salem's clutches is the true hurdle of this mission, but that doesn't mean getting through an entire army of grimm is in any way a cake walk. I'd be more willing to ignore this time skip if it weren't likewise presented as such a challenge for Winter's team. They have to "clear a path" to the whale, but our trio got there unscathed and unnoticed? The obvious implication here is that Ren just masked them the whole way — supported by his aura breaking later in the episode — but it still feels like we missed an important chunk of this task.

I'm nit-picking though. As said, I’m straddling the fence on this one and, given that, I'm inclined to settle on a, "Good job, RWBY. You're keeping the writing tight," if only because I don't have much else to praise about this episode. Throw the poor, struggling show a bone lol.

Now that they're inside, they realize they haven't the slightest idea how they'll find Oscar. “Like finding a needle in a giant…whale… why did we think this was a good idea?!” Because you and your friends are idiots who no longer bother to think about a situation before throwing yourself straight into it? This isn't me being mean to Yang, she literally says as much later on. Our heroes no longer get by on intellect, strategy, and skill, but rather plot armor and a staggering number of coincidences. For example, Ren.

Yang: Wow, it sure is lucky for us that on our way to this incredibly dangerous mission Ren inexplicably developed a new part of his semblance. Now he can not only mask peoples' emotions, see the true emotions that someone is feeling, pull thoughts out of their head about what they believe about a situation, but can also track someone across long distances through their emotions alone. Even that doesn't actually help us find Oscar, we just got lucky again when, in this maze of a whale, he ran right into us!

Me: So what were you going to do if this meta-world stopped giving you the most contrived solutions in Remnant history?

Yang: Die gloriously, I guess.

What Yang actually says is, "Okay. That's new!" and they enter the literal belly of the beast wielding a shield of convenience.

Jaune is also being awkward again because remember, RWBY doesn't know when to incorporate humor and when to treat a situation seriously. He reminds Ren not to "drain [himself]," he'll help him, and it's clear the scene is hinting at their earlier fight. There's a lot to unpack there, but I want to save it for the second conversation.

For now, we cut to Oscar, curled up in his cell, repeating stories to comfort himself. Yeah that's fine. I could use a broken heart right before Valentine's Day.

“She brushed off her bumps and bruises, for nothing hurt worse than the loneliness in her chest." It's a line from The Girl Who Fell Through the World, which Ozpin recognizes given that he's "lived through" a fair number of fairy tales. He immediately asks how Oscar is holding up — because he's a caring person! — and Oscar admits that he never understood why the girl of the tale was sad upon reaching home again. Now he does: she wasn't the same person anymore. I don't think the fact that Oscar has had both a metaphorical fall — leaving his farm to 'fall' into this war — and a literal one — falling through Atlas to unlock his magic — is lost on anyone. This is a nice allusion to our themes. Yang's speech to Salem later on? That’s something else entirely.

Storytelling done, Ozpin says he thinks "this plan to divide might have run its course” and it's time to try and find a way to leave. I'm sorry, I love my farm boy, but what plan? He didn't do anything. At least nothing that could remotely be termed an intellectual plot. Oscar convinced Ozpin to try and turn Hazel by telling him the world would end under Salem's rule and the only reason that worked is because the story decided to chuck out Hazel's entire character. You know, the one that hates Ozpin above all others, wants the world remade into a non-Academy horror show, can't understand that people make their own choices, is terrified of Salem, and has no reason to trust a prisoner he's currently torturing. Oscar's "plan" hinged on his writers erasing a great deal of work to build a new story that fits said “plan.” He didn't even get Emerald involved, she just — again, conveniently — eavesdropped outside their door at just the right moment.

To be clear, I'm not against a story being written to work in the hero's favor. Of course things are going to be convenient in a happy-ending tale. Someone manages to hold out just as long as they need to, a sword is lying just within reach, you, yes, happen to run into the one person you're desperate to find. This kind of stuff is reassuring, telling its audiences that sometimes things do work out for the best. It's enjoyable... but only provided the hero's entire success doesn't hinge on fate being shockingly kind to them. That's what RWBY has become. A world where Salem doesn't attack Mantle, Amity Tower is suddenly finished, the group can charge into any deadly situation they want to and bank on destiny twisting around itself to ensure they come out of it safely. A hero finding a convenient weapon nearby to defeat their enemy with is only reassuring after we've seen them implement a brilliant attack, struggle, nearly win, but then suddenly be faced with failure, necessitating that little push from coincidence. They earned it. The hero doesn't get to run in blindly and find a Defeat Bad Guy plot point gift wrapped for them at the first sign of trouble. They just die.

RWBY used to be a better written show because that's precisely Pyrrha's story. She charged a Maiden unprepared, without a single plan or hope for success, and she died. That's what happens in a dangerous, internally consistent world, but RWBY has since lost the second half of that formula.

I'm harping on this because this entire episode is built on that foundation of coincidence, something that shouldn't be happening at all, but especially not when you're pitting the heroes against Salem herself.

So yeah, it just gets worse from here.

Back to Oscar. Without the cane magic is the only weapon they have at their disposal, but he's reluctant to use it because every time he does, they merge more quickly.

They... do?

Okay, there are three major problems with this announcement:

I'm pretty sure we've only seen Oscar use magic once: creating that barrier to survive the fall through Atlas. That was the point of his near death experience, to unlock something that had previously been unavailable to him. Yet if he's only used it once, why is he so sure that it hurries the merge along? What's this "every time" business? This confusion could have easily been avoided if the show had just let Oscar use his magic this volume, tackling some other questions and gaps in the process. Let him use it to fight off the grimm in Mantle, giving him the opportunity to admit to at least Jaune, Ren, and Yang that Ozpin is back. He could have used some magic against the Hound with Ozpin's encouragement, answering the question of why he was entirely silent while the two of them got their ass beat. Give us a moment where Oscar uses his magic against Hazel, nearly escaping in the process, but is captured again at the last moment. Basically, his line makes it sound like magic has been this ongoing resource with an established downside when... it hasn’t.

Coinciding with all of the above, how is it that Oscar can suddenly use magic at will? Yeah, yeah, he unlocked it during the fall, but really? You open up the magic gates and from then on out it's as natural as breathing? This is the same issue with Ruby's silver eyes. The story gives these characters incredible powers, but never has them talking about how they work, let alone training them. They just exist, perfect in execution, as soon as the plot needs them. (See: the final shot of this episode.) At least Weiss had to practice her summoning for multiple volumes.

Finally, the question of how Oscar instinctively knows how to use magic could easily be answered with, "Well, he's kind of Ozpin now," but that would require the story to actually explain what the merge is. "We merge faster," Oscar says, but what does that mean? The Ozpin and Oscar we see in this scene are fundamentally indistinguishable from the Ozpin and Oscar who existed at his aunt's house, four whole years ago. They're still separate people, with one controlling the body and the other existing as a consciousness he can talk to. Nothing has changed. The show keeps insisting that Oscar is going through this deep and painful arc of losing himself to Ozpin... despite the fact that he has yet to lose a single bit of Oscar-ness. Has he changed? Well of course, but anyone going through these experiences is going to change. Remove the "merge" aspect and Oscar's confidence or power up is likewise indistinguishable from any of the other characters' developments. Nora is becoming more of an individual this volume. Ren is becoming more powerful in his semblance. Neither have an Ozpin to force that change, it just happens on its own. So what separates Oscar from every other character going through a formative experience? When is “I’m not the same person anymore” due to unnatural magic vs. just growing up?

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy our boy is getting more screen time — and that the cast is actually being kind to him now — but overall his arc is objectively terrible. He bought some clothes, told Ironwood he was as bad as Salem, told Hazel how to access the Relic, and then asked him not to be a villain anymore. Somehow these things are presented as significant moments of growth while the real questions surrounding his merge go unanswered.

“Honestly, I think you’re doing just fine on your own," Ozpin tells him, but he's not. God knows our boy is trying, but this is a moment where Ozpin's self-hatred (and the story's insistence that the younger generation is intrinsically better than the older) is blinding him to the situation. Oscar has made terrible decisions lately, in as much as he's been able to decide anything at all, and now he's rejecting escaping captivity because he's terrified of a concept he doesn't even understand yet. None of that is fine. Reassurance is one thing, but painting this situation as Oscar making better choices than he would with Ozpin's input is insane. He literally just decided to keep them in Salem's clutches indefinitely because something something magic is scary, I guess. Oscar doesn't need a, 'You're better than me' speech, he needs a reality check so they don't both die. Remember back in Volume 5 when Oscar, a brave but idiotic 14 year old, insisted on fighting someone entirely out of his league and Ozpin was like,

then saved him from getting his head crushed in like a cantaloupe? We need more of that. Our teenage heroes need guidance, but because RWBY keeps insisting that every adult they encounter is corrupt or incompetent, that hasn't happened in three volumes. They're just aloud to decide things like, “Let's tell our captor the Relic's password because UwU ~trust~” and then the story bends over backwards to make that work. Instead we could, you know, let characters learn that they can be wrong.

The snow scene was the beginning, but RWBY really went off the rails the day it let Qrow warn the group against stealing from and attacking an allied city, only for them to call him an idiot for doubting them. Now, Ozpin doesn't even get to warn Oscar about stupid decisions, he just agrees with them, reassuring and passive. Never mind the complication of whether Ozpin is even emotionally capable of providing guidance after they labeled him the worst thing to ever happen to them.

Why does RWBY keep ruining my faves 😔

Anyway, we’ve got to stay on track. Oscar has decided to just lie there but, luckily for him, Hazel's redemption — I use that term so loosely — has begun. He drags Oscar out of his cell before we cut to Winter.

She's leading a portion of Ironwood's army, trying to get things ready for when the bomb arrives. Neon and Flynt are a part of her team, sharing scared glances and trying to remain optimistic. It's a legitimately hard-hitting moment, striking that balance between horror and hope. Funny though, I wonder that RWBYJNOR would think of their friends fighting for evil Ironwood...

Marrow, continuing the tradition of insisting that our heroes be both adults and kids simultaneously, looks sadly at the soldiers heading into battle and goes, "But... they're just kids." I would like to remind everyone reading that Ruby is younger than them. Anyone who thinks that these teenagers shouldn't be fighting grimm — the thing they have been training to do as their professional career, during an unprecedented attack on their home — should not simultaneously be looking to the girl who is two years younger as his savior. (Something that, while not overt yet, is very much where Marrow is heading as he continually doubts the Ace Ops and looks to RWBY's group as his new, moral leaders.) I'm glad that, for once, this perspective is firmly called out. Elm arrives to tell him point blank that he needs to figure out his personal ethics later. It doesn't matter because there's an army of grimm out there and monsters aren't going to spare anyone, adult or child. Quit philosophizing and kill some already.

Back to Hazel where we get the doorway shot from our trailer. He's taken Oscar to the Relic, because of course he has. Do I really need to list how convenient this is too? Apparently, "the moment we move that thing, this place goes on high alert," but there’s no alarm for when Oscar is taken from his cell, they enter the Relic's room, or when they use it. What does a movement alert matter if someone can just waltz in and waste the last question themselves? Put some of those endless grimm in the room to guard it, Salem!

Just assume that I am, at any given point in this episode, letting out the longest sigh my lungs are physically capable of.

Emerald shows up, demonstrating both the convenience of everyone arriving when they need to, and the very real danger that Salem herself could come in and discover what they're up to. Hazel has Oscar summon Jinn, only to immediately say that “Actually, I think all my questions are answered now.”

I'm sorry, how does this answer any of Hazel's questions? His driving question was not, "Is the Relic actually a magical object capable of doing magical things?" but rather "Are you telling me the truth about Salem's plans to summon the Gods and destroy all of Remnant in her quest to finally die, thereby changing who I'm going to support in this war?" Seeing a naked, blue djinn does not answer that question.

Hazel's "redemption" is non-existent. He — we — learned about Salem's death wish despite how that contradicts previous lore, then he trusted Ozpin despite that contradicting his entire character, now he joins the heroes because, literally, he sees Jinn floating there. It’s bad enough that Hazel goes from clear villain to sacrificial hero in a matter of in-world hours, but we don’t even get a reason for why that change occurred.

Oh, there's also this:

So Jinn doesn't come out of her lamp unless someone intends to ask a question, but does it for Ruby because she's special, yet still reiterates that this won't happen again. Then Oscar summons her without intending to ask a question, she comes out anyway, confirms that none of them seek knowledge from her, and happily pops back inside her lamp because eh, it’s whatever.

If RWBY had any courage the three of them would be cursed now for toying with a powerful, magical object. Remember the days when Jinn was a little terrifying because it felt like she was warping her answers and we had no idea what she might do to someone who used her carelessly? When she felt like a djinn? Good times.

Or better times, at least.

So Good Guy Hazel and Good Gal Emerald promise to get Oscar out. Never mind all the horror they caused, the people they killed, and that for Hazel, at least, this defection is coming out of nowhere.

Anyone remember that Emerald orchestrated Penny's death? No? Just me?

As they leave it turns out Neo was camouflaged against the wall, because she was also precisely where she needed to be. Does everyone just periodically pop into the Relic room to see what’s going on? At least this time it's not working in the heroes' favor. Remember when I said it's beyond idiotic for Oscar to just hand out the Relic information to known enemies currently holding him captive and torturing him?

Yeeeeaah.

So Neo's got the Lamp. Funny how all of this could have been avoided if Ruby had just put it in the vault like she came to Atlas to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We return to our trio where Jaune and Ren need to rest because their aura is giving out. Good! These guys fought a battle, fought Neo, fought more grimm, fought the Hound, traipsed through the tundra, presumably fought through more grimm to get to the whale, and have been using both their semblances to look for Oscar. It's about time their reserves started to falter.

Jaune decides to scout ahead a bit, leaving Yang and Ren to talk about nothing of importance. I mean that seriously. Remember a few days ago when��I spoke about how, if the snow conversation does come back up, Ren's points would be entirely ignored for a nonsensical “I’m glad we’re friends” speech? Remember how I also spoke about how every emotional beat now is entirely generic and you could replace any character with another and not a single thing would change? Yeah. This is both those arguments in one. Nothing is said about the points Ren made. His problems with how the group has been acting lately and the very real, very deadly consequences it has had are flat out ignored. We went from

"But these aren't the kinds of decisions we should be making because we have no idea what we're doing!"

"Forward, no matter what!"

in a matter of hours, with precisely zero insight into how Ren went from one perspective to the exact opposite. Kind of like Hazel. Because see, RWBY doesn't write arcs, it just writes one thing until it decides to switch it up for something else, with the opposite idea presented as a “resolution” or a “twist.” Our creators writes scenes they know the fandom is begging for without considering how to get a character to that place, let alone how to get them out of it. That's all Ren's speech was, the equivalent of moral fan service. Here's a glimpse of actual character depth and a morally gray situation... now forget it ever happened because we're back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Instead of working through the laundry list of issues Ren raised, Ren instead accepts Jaune's aura help — something they've been doing since Argus — and tells Yang it's okay to be scared. These moments are meaningless and, as said, could have been between anyone in our cast. Ren could have told Nora she doesn't have to use jokes to cover up that she's scared. Jaune could have reminded Ruby that she can depend on him. Yang could have tried to keep Blake and Weiss' hopes up. This scenes ignores the individuality of the characters, like the fact that they just fought over very different world views, to instead favor any dime-a-dozen moment of support. The number of times this volume has rejected the conflict and resolution the group needs for bland, generic reassurances staggering.

Also, apparently Jaune isn't scared at all? I don't think that's as good a thing as Ren seems to think...

Then Jaune immediately rounds the corner, terrified lol.

One of the seer grimm is on its way and he tells Ren to mask them. Apparently he had been masking them before — one of the reasons he's so tired now, trying to do two things at once — but it's only here that they go black and white again. Ren manages to keep it up for a little while, but his aura breaks before the seer passes and they're spotted.

Hark! A consequence!

That was well done. It makes sense and it adds to the stakes. We've seen the insane amount of fighting the group has done since Volume 7, we just established that they're at their breaking point, and then Ren's aura fails him right when he needs it the most. Add this to the miniscule pile of things that were well done this episode.

Salem runs into Emerald and Hazel, the former of which is acting very suspicious when asked if he's made any headway with Oscar. The seer's alarm interrupts them though and... okay. Was I the only one who cackled during this moment? Between Salem's voice acting and the fact that she just yeets herself down the hallway, it came across as really funny to me.

Either way, it is a bad situation. Our trio is trying to figure out what to do, to which Yang responds, "Do what we do best… charge blindly into danger!!”

Ren's aura is broken. Jaune barely has any left and it’s unlikely he could heal right now even if Ren had any aura to amplify. If Ren takes a single hit anywhere important he is dead.

Me, on my knees, surrounded by the ashes of the Hound, the last bit of serious storytelling we had: "For the love of God, the kingdom is on fire and simultaneously dying of cold. There's a grimm army decimating hundreds outside. Half their group is missing and they're wandering lost inside a devil whale, about to have the most powerful being Remnant has ever known personally try to kill them — can we please have their attitudes reflect that?"

The answer, in case you were wondering, is no.

Back to the bomb. Whatever scientists were given this task have completed it and Marrow watches as it's flown out towards the whale. "Come on, Juan" he whispers and I'm all, "Juan?" Apparently it's a callback to last volume when Marrow couldn't remember Jaune's actual name, but it took me hopping onto the RWBY wiki to remember that.

As death via explosion inches closer, the trio runs into Hazel and Emerald. Turns out though that Hazel is really Oscar, disguised through Emerald's semblance. Nice trick! Jaune immediately drops both weapons to hug Oscar and, while that's nice and all, it's also the stupidest thing he could possible do in enemy territory. Also, Oscar has been beaten up by the Hound, tortured with magic, and likewise beaten bloody by Hazel. I was hoping for a tender hug like the one Nora gave him, not a giant squeeze for more comedy purposes. It just feels like RWBY has no idea how to manage the tone of this volume, let alone the torture of a child...

There's the obligatory, "Why should we trust you?" from Yang regarding Emerald joining the team, to which Ren responds, "Because she's scared, just like us."

That doesn't prove anything. Literally everyone is scared right now. There is a war going on. I really cannot emphasize enough how RWBY throws out Deep™ sounding lines that are, upon inspection, absolutely nonsensical. Nora reminding Penny that there are different parts to her personhood, Hazel saying that all his questions have been answered, Ren announcing that Emerald is scared... it's all worthless chatter that has no bearing on their problems: How do I keep from being hacked? How do I know you're telling the truth? How do we know you're trustworthy after you spent years trying to kill us? But of course, because it's RWBY, Ren's announcement is treated as some sort of secret truth that everyone accepts. Emerald joins up.

As they head for an exit we return to Marrow who, frankly, is getting on my last nerve. I know the fandom loves him because he's clearly leaning towards Team RWBY, but does anyone actually listen to what he says? He starts yelling at Winter for sending in the bomb because the trio might still be alive in there, despite:

Seeing for himself the hundreds of soldiers that have fallen trying to keep Atlas safe

Knowing and hearing again from Winter that the only way to stop this carnage is to take out the whale. Given more time, the whole city falls

Sadly announcing to the world that children shouldn't have to fight in a battle, rather than just joining the fray and helping to keep those kids safe

How does Marrow think those kids are going to be able to stop fighting? How does he think he'll get a city to return to? It's no wonder that he's drawn to Ruby because both characters stand around twiddling their thumbs, mourning that things are bad, and blaming others for imperfect solutions rather than doing something to make the situation better. Marrow's disgust at Winter over the bomb is precisely the same as Ruby's disgust at Ironwood over Mantle: how dare you not have a plan that results in both victory for us and zero sacrifices? They want perfection which, yes, is an admirable trait, but their problem is they refuse to do anything until that perfection appears. They’re paralyzed, a trait that’s particularly dangerous when your story insists that perfection will never appear: it’s not a fairy tale. So they just continue to get mad at others for the fact that they live in an unfair world. You want that perfect solution? Think it up yourself. Otherwise, stand aside and let those coming up with something do what they can to make things better.

Marrow goes so far as to drag Weiss into things, trying to guilt Winter with the knowledge that she'll have to relate the death of her sister's friends back to her. Winter, because she's a badass who isn't in denial over the situation, tells him that yes, she will shoulder that responsibility. To Marrow's credit he backs off then, but man. RWBY has legitimate moral questions here — when is holding out for a few worth risking the many? — but they go about exploring it in the most frustrating way possible. I personally have no respect for the guy who wants to announce that Children In War Is Bad instead of, you know, using the power he currently has to protect those kids already neck deep in a battle.

Because John Mulaney remains relevant:

"There shouldn't be a horse in the hospital :( "

"We're WELL PAST THAT."

Marrow is the one going, "There shouldn't be kids in a war :( We shouldn't have to kill a few to save the whole kingdom :( " and everyone around him is like, "No shit, dude! But this is the hand we were dealt! You going to help us, or what?"

Literally all of these characters could have been so much more than what they currently are.

Except Winter. She's doing great.

Now for the final scene. Our group nearly manages to escape the whale, but is incapacitated by some sort of screechy power that Salem employs.

She contorts her body, stretching out her arms to snag Emerald, and the others have a brief, but intense skirmish. Jaune manages to block a blast of magic aimed at Ren with his shield — nice — and Yang dots Salem's face with a bunch of bombs before blowing her sky-high — double nice. Oscar shoots out some magic of his own because, yeah, I guess he can just do that now? It really feels like it came out of nowhere after eight episodes of being the punching bag.

Of course, Salem immediately reforms. She traps the group with grimm arms that come out of the whale, interrogating Ozpin about why he bothers to keep coming back. There's a very sad answer there of, "I don't," referring to his lack of choice in reincarnating to fight her.

Yang interrupts their little tet-a-tet to throw the question back in Salem's face, calling her out on her choices. A great idea but, as always, execution: "because something bad happened to you once upon a time? No one gets a fairy tale ending."

I’m sorry, but that dialogue had me cringing. Like I said before, way too on the nose. There's keeping with the fairy tale theme, and then there's shoving the viewer's face in it. More of Oscar's musings on how he relates to the protagonists of fairy tales, blurring the lines between storytelling and reality, which in turn encourages the viewer to consider how they see themselves in the RWBY cast. Less... whatever this is.

Yang goes on to talk about how many people Salem has taken from her, which upon reflection makes a certain amount of sense if you toss in all the people who are here, but changed somehow due to Salem's influence, as well as acquaintances who died as a result of her meddling: Raven is scared off, Tai suffers as a result, Pyrrha dies, Penny dies, Yang loses her arm and her school. I think the dialogue could have been revised to reflect that better though because what Yang implies is that Salem has killed countless of her loved ones, yet what she says is, "Summer Rose. My mom." Honestly, for the few seconds this exchange was happening my thoughts weren't even on Summer. Yang calls Salem out for killing loved ones and my brain went, "Pyrrha??"

That's how little they've done with Yang and Summer. I know in the past I've argued that RWBY has a "better late than never" situation going on, that I would praise them for making the right writing choices even if they arrive years too late... but now that we're here, I find that it's a hard problem to overlook. Summer is Yang's mom? When's the last time we heard that? Volume 2? Whenever the conversation with Blake was. Since then Yang has called Raven "Mom," focused on that emotional connection (or lack thereof), was excluded from the conversation with Qrow, comforted Ruby after she was blindsided by Salem's taunt, and otherwise hasn't mentioned Summer at all. There is no foundation for this accusation except a few lines about getting cookies as a child and the fact that we're tossing references in now makes me worried that we'll indeed get a grimm!Summer reveal. Better remind the audience that she exists before the twist arrives! Honestly, as much as a part of me wants to praise RWBY for trying to get things back on track, moments like this just ring hollow now. They waited years and now it’s too late. It doesn't help that this is the episode where we shrug off Ren's speech. What will Yang's cutting admission amount to based on this trend? Probably nothing. Summer will become Yang’s mom again in another six seasons.

Salem, obviously, doesn't care. The real Hazel arrives and she orders him to take Oscar back to his cell. Instead, he gives him his cane with a whispered, "No more Gretchens, boy."

Behold, another meaningless line. Hazel hates Ozpin for "forcing" Gretchen on a mission and "getting" her killed. The whole point of his villainy is that he doesn't understand the concept of choice and that bad things can happen to good people with no one able to prevent it. Not every loss has a responsible party attached (outside of, you know, Salem/the grimm). So what is he even demanding here? No more huntsmen schools? That's what you wanted Salem for. No more "forcing" people to fight for you? Ozpin never did that in the first place. Or is it just a strange promise that no one else will die here? RWBY seems to be under the impression that they can just name drop dead family members — Summer, Gretchen — and that's that. Emotional depth created, never mind a lack of buildup or clarity.

Then Hazel punches Salem across the room and she releases every single hero from their bonds. See the theme of this episode: convenience. Hazel shoves a whole bunch of dust crystals into his shoulders and yells that he's doing what Gretchen would have wanted, clearly sacrificing himself so that the others can escape. The battle between him and Salem is pretty decent. I enjoyed the dust vs. magic creativity and the sheer damage Salem can take before reforming. This fight really showcases how not human she is.

It does, however, bring into question Hazel's reveal about her needing an hour to heal at the longest. I mentioned how unlikely it would be that our heroes would get the chance to "kill" her multiple times, yet here we are, just a few episodes later. They got that opportunity and... does it matter? Salem's reforming doesn't appear to slow down at all, despite her head getting obliterated at least three times, so at what point does she need longer than a few seconds to heal? If this was meant to be a potential weakness the group would eventually exploit, we needed to see it here, both for that setup and to keep it consistent with Hazel's story.

Regardless, they fight and at first it looks like a pretty straight-forward sacrifice on Hazel's part, giving the group their chance to escape. Except... Oscar.

"She'll just come after us," he tells Jaune, turning away from him to fight.

I need a list for this:

Of course she's going to come after you. This is not some shocking revelation. At no point has anyone thought that escaping the whale is the answer to all their problems, it just creates one less problem to deal with. Namely, the problem of "Our ally is captured, being tortured, and may give up important intel to the enemy. Oh, also he's about to be blown up with a bomb." Salem coming after them doesn’t matter. What matters is making her plans as difficult as possible as you work to come up with more solutions of your own. This is just a smaller version of the Ironwood conflict: “Well, Salem will just follow Atlas into the sky so it’s useless to attempt escape, or to buy ourselves time.” It’s really not. I know I’ve used this ridiculous comparison before, but if you’re ever chased by a horror movie serial killer hell-bent on your destruction and your reaction to this problem is, “Why run? He’ll just chase us. The only possible choice is to fight him with a 99% chance of our death,” then I beg you to re-evaluate things.

What was the point of coming to rescue Oscar if he was just going to stay behind? The whale is about to be blown up by a bomb and the trio risked their lives ten times over to get to him. If I were them I would be pissed. We went through all that to get you out and now you’re refusing to leave when we have a chance? Thanks for that.

Same with Hazel. Not that I care about the guy, but if I was sacrificing myself for others to escape I'd be pretty annoyed at them randomly deciding not to do that.

What does Oscar even think he's going to do? Kill the immortal witch? The entire point of our series is that they can’t do that (yet).

However, if he is able to do something significant via Ozpin's magic, why didn't Ozpin do that generations ago? Somehow I don't think a younger Ozma closer to the height of his power was in a worse position to attack Salem than a tortured, aura-less kid who unlocked his magic yesterday. The more RWBY reveals about Salem, the more I go, “Okay, but why didn’t his happen [insert any number of years] ago?”

Did Jaune actually leave? I assume he's just grabbing an airship or something before coming back to drag Oscar away, but seriously where did he go?

There's no way I can approach this scene without throwing up my hands and going, "What? WHY?" Which is a real shame because we finally get to see a bit of what the cane does and it’s... precisely what Ozpin's magic has always done? I mean, we saw that green shield five years ago and now there's a giant white beam. Okay.

If the beam just hits Salem with Generic Magic Power then there was never anything secret about the cane, it’s just, you know, Ozpin’s weapon. If the cane does something significant to hurt her we're left with the question of why it took literal generations to use it. Nothing is making sense to me and the only way I can think to salvage this scene is if Jaune runs back in, snags Oscar like a sack of potatoes, and runs out yelling about how he's clearly suffering from a concussion because what are you trying to accomplish here?

It doesn't help that this moment feels... final. Hazel has managed to hold Salem in place. Oscar has unlocked his cane and lands some mega hit right before Hazel passes out and looses his hold. Not only does this feel like a scene that should be at the end of the volume (we've still got five episodes), but also the end of the series. RWBY is building Salem into an unbeatable enemy by giving her more and more powers, and simultaneously eliminating the stakes by having our currently weakest character (in terms of exhaustion/injuries/aura/training) landing a shot like that. Why would you nerf Salem's threat level like that in the middle of a volume? Especially with a tool our group has had available from the start? If the cane does damage, maybe lead with that in the, “Here’s why we should stay and fight” office conversation.

I assume that Oscar's hit will obliterate Salem to the point where both he and Hazel have time to escape, or he obliterates both of them (“Do it”) and that's somehow presented as a better choice than just running while Salem is captured, or the bomb will interrupt things somehow... but it's just so shoddily done. At the very least, if they were going to have Oscar refuse to let someone fight alone, have it be an actual friend he's staying to assist. Having Oscar refuse his own rescue to help Hazel has more than one problem attached to it. We can say what we want about RWBY's themes of forgiveness, but this guy was torturing him just a few hours ago while serving Remnant's version of the devil. Just let him sacrifice himself and move on.

And that's where we end. Oscar powering up, the cane getting all magic-y, and him shooting a crazy big blast that engulfs both Salem and Hazel. I can't believe how not excited I am about my farm boy doing something badass, but here we are.

Overall I think this episode was way worse than last week's. We absolutely had problems in "Dark," particularly when it came to the Hound and the group's blind devotion to Ruby, but at least those moments were cushioned by an otherwise decent episode. "Witch" felt like I was watching something closer to a parody of RWBY, one deliberately poking fun at the fandom's desires: erase all conflict for awkward silly times, your favorite villains are instantly good now, the heroes go toe-to-toe with the main antagonist because why not, throw a bunch of magic in there for good measure, and wrap it all up in some over the top "this isn't a fairy tale" lines. I can see the pieces of a much better episode here — Emerald sneaking Oscar out with her semblance, Neo snagging the relic, Flint and Neon, Hazel attacking Salem — but it simply didn't come together.

I know I said this last time, but I have no idea what we're going to do for another five episodes. Salem slowly reforming from bomb damage as the group tries to keep Penny from opening the vault? The grimm attack halted with the whale gone so Qrow can go after Ironwood? The longer this volume runs, the more I think it was a mistake for them to introduce Salem as a fightable antagonist now. RWBY doesn't know what to do with her besides have her inevitably fall in the final season, so until then she's left being stupid (Relic), passive (Mantle), or, likely, written out of the story temporarily so the heroes can turn their attention towards smaller conflicts and weaker foes. They literally can’t beat Salem yet, but they can’t focus on other problems when she’s around without coming across as negligent, so if you have to find ways to erase her to make room for that... what was the point of bringing her here in the first place? We could have established that Salem is bound to her realm and had her send the Hound and whale to attack Atlas. There, all the fun parts of the volume without her complicated presence.

Well, the next five weeks will certainly be interesting, at the very least...

Until next time 💜

[Ko-Fi]

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby witch #mymetas #rwby recaps

70 notes · View notes

muwur · 4 years ago

Text

snapchat headcanons

✧ hc’s ✧ for using snapchat w ur boi toi ft. the pretty setter squad

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.1k words

a/n: kinda a combo of how they use sc and the kinds of snaps they send you! along w wat u send them, and uh... dating stuf n shenanigans? texting/snapping habits? my fantasies? IDEK ANYMORE EOFHEFJ

this was born from the recesses of my mind , which desired nothing mor than snapchats from suga , us sending cute selfies , others bein dumb n chaotic , no context videos , n him snapping me photos of some mangoes on sale he said he’ll buy for me DXX it’s too late for me now

doing research on hq bois and surfing thru sc features (im just now realizing theres quite a bit?? im hoping i address most of them at some point lolol) instead of real life tings aHHhhhHAHA

requests: open! will be working on a suga one i got, dw, requester!

sugawara

✧ sends good morning and good night snaps

✧ so he’s rlly good at keeping streaks, probs has the longest ones (one of them being y’alls streak)

✧ posts tidbits of volleyball practice on his story every once in a while

✧ snaps you pics of his sleeping teammates when they’re coming back to school after a long day of matches , adding a single ‘❤️’ as a caption

✧ he will also create colorful masterpieces on all of them

✧ gives daichi a santa beard, tanaka a squiggly stache (i imagine it to look like spongebob n patrick’s seaweed ones now that were mEN), n kageyama sum angry brows,,, wait he already has them lolol u good der kags

✧ posts a picture of you when you’re hanging out, captioning it: “🥰“

✧ has conversations with you purely via snaps

✧ ranges from casual chats and checking up on u to crackwhoring ( ** indicates the photo, while the “” quotes indicate the caption, all snaps are italicized, otherwise its regular dialogue)

✧ suga: *peace sign* “hey sweetheart, how r u?”

✧ you: *pics of homework* “ahh, drowning in school ;-; i cant wait for this week to be over fghjkl”

✧ suga: *close up with :o on his face* “let’s study together tmrw!”

✧ or

✧ suga: *complete darkness* “its 3 am n i cant sleep”

✧ you: *the top half of your head, laying on a pillow* “ ;( aw babe. do u want me to send something to help u sleep?”

✧ suga: *still in darkness* “y u still up?? go sleep. n 🥺 yes pls”

✧ you: *snaps pics of feet* “that’ll be 50 bucks, pay up”

✧ suga: *darkness remains* “can we make a trade instead? i promise to make it worth ;)”

✧ ok now u BOTH cant sleep (im sry my crackheading be acting up around 2am eeryday, i stan a mischievous suga--)

✧ video chats (in the darkness lol) instead until you both pass out (im not in luv u r 😭)

✧ super down to take filtered selfies w you

✧ does all the silly ones with you (things like ’angry face’ or the frog one)

✧ but also rlly digs lookin cute with you using some heart crowns, y’all an aesthetic (n crakhead) duo fosho

✧ def subscribes to life hacks and tries them out himself, has a 50% success rate

kageyama

✧ doesn’t rlly use snapchat too much

✧ but when he does

✧ will either send you a picture to indicate he’s at volleyball practice (wow wat a sexi lookin gym floor)

✧ or some random picture of whatever he’s doing at the moment (*drinking milk*)

✧ this is mostly in order to save streaks

✧ he’s so bad at streaks

✧ “why does it matter?? what’s the point of sending just black screens or whatever’s in front of you at the moment??”

✧ can’t keep a consistent streak for more than 3 days and also doesn’t care (until hinata challenges him to see who can have the longer one)

✧ when you send him videos of him playing, he really focuses on them to try to improve his technique. asks you to send those vids to him (assuming u saved them, which u did)

✧ but when you look over his shoulder when he’s watching a video and give him some compliment (“i recorded at the perfect moment! that was a really good set, kageyama!”), he gets a bit flustered

✧ gets even more flustered but pretty happy whenever you post videos on your story showing karasuno winning some points with captions like:

✧ “footage of the legendary quick >.>” or “karasuno crows flyin high!” or “these bois make my heart 😭 im so proud”

✧ you WILL catch him off guard in photos, using filters that surrounds his head w/ emojis like 🥺💖🥰💘

✧ you also put these on your story (to his dismay)

✧ ppl comment on these mor than anything else (n for those who dont rlly kno kageyama, theyre kinda surprised to him like this)

✧ hinata snickers “hey kageyama you look pretty good here--”

✧ takes some selfies with you, mostly cuz you want them

✧ saves them after u send them over (n secretly cherishes them)

✧ occasionally watches his subscriptions, they’ll usually involve sports, mostly volleyball (who woulda guessed)

✧ you use his bitmoji to test out random facial expressions you would never see him wear

✧ you: “can you smile and wink like this? act like you’re the obnoxious charming guy in a shojo.”

✧ will actually attempt, but it looks so bad that you die inside and he never wants to try again cuz of ur laughing outburst (you: “😭😭 bb im sorry i couldnt help it”)

oikawa

✧ literally sends you anything and everything

✧ morning bathroom selfie to show off how good his hair came out that day, saying:

✧ “he has risen”

✧ or “i woke up like this”

✧ and my favorite, “you’re lucky you get this content for frEE”

✧ selfies with iwa, who just looks annoyed and exasperated at the camera

✧ sends you pics of his lunch and snacks (“bet u wish u had milk bread too”)

✧ always packs extra milk bread so he could convince you to stay at his practice after school--

✧ FILTERSS

✧ I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENUF

✧ will either use the filters that make him kayooottt (cute)

✧ loves the ones named ‘hearts,’ ‘soft,’ ‘peach,’ ‘butterfly cheeks,’ vsco filters LOL, etc

✧ uses ‘big mouth’ when he feelin a bit sASSY; also loves to use this one when he rants, it channels his inner valley girl

✧ sometimes he’ll be snacking or drinking something while he does so (“hey guys today im gonna eat these milk buns from my favorite bakery and this bomb orange juice and complain about this little kid who talked smack to me earlier and almost made me cry--”)

✧ takes cute selfies with you, is an aesthetic selfie king, puts them on his story to show off he’s hangin with you

✧ but on your story you only post the ones he looks bad in LOL

✧ has separate stories for his every need, some r private (and lucky you, ur included in all of them)

✧ titles them ‘mean things iwa said to me today,’ ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ ‘a day in the life of oikawa,’ ‘volleyball 🏐,’ ‘unpopular opinions,’ etc.

✧ fitting room photoshoots lol

✧ “y/n, what do you think of this??” “and this?” “oOH WHAT ABOUT THIS??”

✧ ends up calling you through video chat so you can live critique his choices

✧ “oikawa, please no, i can’t be seen with you in public if you wear those--”

✧ also changes his bitmoji’s outfits from time to time, hopes you’ll notice, but you don’t LOL (oikawa: ;((((((( )

kenma

✧ uses sc usually just to reply to messages ppl send him

✧ indifferent about streaks, but keeps a few with ppl he’s closer to

✧ mindlessly plays the snapchat games with you, finds some of them kinda cute

✧ you both made his bitmoji for him, dressing his up in the orange cat suit

✧ you also helped make kuroo’s and put his in the black cat suit to match--

✧ snaps you every time he gets a new game, starts playing it, and once he finishes

✧ started to post some gameplays and reviews on his sc story (might as well add them to sc since he was already on other social platforms), and ended up amassing a large following

✧ follows the tech and gaming stories on sc

✧ as well as the ones with cute animals--

✧ open to selfies with you, usually wears a calm expression and holds up a peace sign

✧ even occasionally sticks his tongue out

✧ his story is occasionally heavily bombarded with candids of him w/ pretty sc filters, all taken by you

✧ but of all the filters, you love using the clout glasses on him

✧ especially when he’s just minding his own business

✧ “kenma, in his tru habitat” when hes cocooned in a blanket

✧ “kenma, on his way to steal yo manz” while on his way to the bathroom

✧ “kenma, next iron chef. watch out gordon” as he’s cooking instant ramen

✧ “kenma” n das it

✧ but he thinks it meme-y so he lets you do whatever you want, kinda digs it

✧ you end up dedicating your snap story to memes of kenma and the nekoma volleyball team. ppl are in it for the shits n giggles n hot bois

✧ you later discover someone else did the same thing with their volleyball team filled with hot bois from shiratorizawa, and you befriend tendou and share funni internet tings

akaashi

✧ 99% of his photos include either you or bokuto or both

✧ bokuto spams akaashi’s story and contact list with selfies and videos of himself using weird filters, often gets you to join him

✧ has several streaks, but will send something with more substance than a black screen or his bedroom window

✧ will usually involve smthng that just happened to him or smthing he saw, like:

✧ “a kind older lady offered me some apples in return for helping her”

-or:

✧ “how do i break the news to bokuto that the yaikniku place he’s been wanting to go to for the past week ,,, is closed today”

✧ o n let’s not leave out:

✧ “is it possible to conjure a ghost using a wooden spatula, ketchup, and a chalk drawn hexagram? bokuto’s been paranoid ever since he tried last night and i dont know what to tell him. seriously, help”

✧ looks through stories occasionally, comments whenever bokuto makes questionable decisions

✧ also comments on whatever you’ve posted. his words range from “you’re cute” to “why,” depending on the content

✧ ppl know when y’all are hanging out cuz he’ll post smthing to indicate he’s with you, usually it’s some candid and you’re not paying attention

✧ appreciation posts for you as well! esp if you got him something, like onigiri or his fav, Nanohana no Karashiae , for lunch! (akaashi: *snaps a pic of his food* “thank you y/n for feeding me”)

✧ prefers video calling over texting/snapping whenever possible tho

✧ occasionally reminisces thru his sc memories

✧ enjoys the flashback feature and will send them to you and bokuto (cuz they’re about y’all anyway lolol)

✧ also has secretly saved a bunch of selfies of himself, consists of him trying out a lot of the filters (he feelin himself)

✧ you, one day, looking thru his phone and discovering them: “akaashi, you’re so pretty wtf”

✧ akaashi: “...”

koganegawa

✧ sends you selfies of him before practice

✧ during breaks

✧ and after practice, usually makes a comment about how it went for him that day like:

✧ “i hit a decent toss today and futakuchi actually complimented me!”

✧ that, or:

✧ “i got yelled at 17 times today 😢😩”

✧ has quite a few streaks, his longest ones being with you and hinata

✧ def uses filters

✧ tries out every funny one he finds and sends you videos

✧ “look y/n im an aaaaAALlliiEEENnnNNN oo oo hoo hhhooOOh”

✧ “now im a chicky nuggy!!” (chicken nugget)

✧ also enjoys the doodle feature

✧ but he uses the filter with the clout glasses unironically--

✧ usually when smth good happens to him and he feels happy and/or cool about it

✧ “just beat the boss in this game on my 69th try B)”

✧ “kogane, that’s--”

✧ plays sc games with you and thinks bitmojis r cool

✧ kinda sad he cant find a hair option that matches him tho lolol rip

✧ you: “you hair’s just,,, unique,,,”

✧ subscribed to anything sports and fitness, as well as pop culture so he can stay in the loop

✧ also watches everyone else’s stories, pointing out whenever he sees smthing cool and/or interesting

✧ “woahh, karasuno’s at nationals right now! i wish we could’ve won, but next year for sure!!”

✧ you encourage him at all his games, hyping him up irl and online

✧ “koganegawa: best setter 😍!!”

✧ luckily you didnt record the parts he completely messed up LOL

semi

✧ before going out with you, snaps you a pic of his casual outfit like:

✧ semi: “does this look ok”

✧ you: “babe you look great, tendou was just messing with you”

✧ will make unwanted appearances on tendou’s snap and complains to you about them

✧ “i didnt consent to being part of his meme page” and

✧ “okay, but he didn’t only have to share all the moments i messed up--”

✧ also indifferent about streaks but will do them

✧ sometimes sends snaps/streaks indicating he’s practicing his music

✧ when you see these you usually ask him to send you vids or if you can come over n watch

✧ initially is a bit shy about it but he loves what he does and you and knows you’re genuinely interested and supportive so he agrees

✧ secretly rlly enjoys having you as his personal audience

✧ lowkey into asmr, like the soap cutting shit as well as chewing crunchy things

✧ also watches food porn and clips of mukbangs, then can’t resist going on youtube and watching the whole thing

✧ “y/n, can we try this, it looks so good--”

✧ will also often watch oikawa’s stories, especially his ‘ranting hotbox + mukbangs,’ and makes comments about him being an idiot

✧ “this kid he’s talking about is a savage”

✧ but admits they’re quite entertaining

✧ just looks serious in all the selfies you take with him

✧ you: “can you look like you’re enjoying yourself?”

✧ semi: “i look cooler like this tho”

✧ sc memories filled with shenanigans from you and the volleyball team, doodles, and mirror selfies with him experimenting diff looks (you: “tendou, you got him way too concerned about this”)

✧ also enjoys showing off he’s with you, taking a short video of you when you hang out

✧ you: “semi, i look bad right now”

✧ semi: “but you can never look bad”

✧ you: “🥺 bb”

✧ viewers: “aw”

✧ shiratorizawa: “can he be this nice with us LOL”

shirabu

✧ his main mode of communication with you is mostly through the regular messaging app, so he doesn’t use sc too much

✧ also doesn’t care for streaks and is bad at keeping them

✧ will answer to you or his senpais rather soon tho

✧ but lets all his other notifications pile up a bit before finally going thru them

✧ goes through the snaps he receives really fast, spending like 2 seconds each to look at them cuz aint nobody got time for dat

✧ doesn’t even rlly open goshiki’s LOL

✧ you have fun using filters on him and taking videos while he’s just doing his own thing peacefully like studying

✧ it takes him a second to notice and when he finally looks up, he just gives you an exasperated look

✧ cue you cracking up with laughter bc the filter finally shows up on his face

✧ his eyes and mouth are now on mike wazowski

✧ that, or his face becomes so disturbingly moRPhed like an alien

✧ caption: “ken-chan, my future medical man 😍”

✧ “y/n, please, this is like the 7th time in the last 20 minutes--”

✧ finally convinced him to take a study break and hang out with you

✧ which usually consists of snacking and light banter while you lay your head on his lap

✧ and scrolling through snapchat stories and showing him what everyone else is up to and cool things you’re subscribed to

✧ “loooook, dr. miami’s doing another butt job! is this the line of work you’re studying so hard for?”

✧ “no, it’s really not”

✧ is actually very soft with you and likes having the photos and vids for memories

atsumu

✧ sends you snaps where his brother looks bad, captioning it:

✧ “this is evidence that im the hotter twin”

✧ likewise, osamu sends you snaps where atsumu looks even worse

✧ like, the mans passed out, looking rekt and open mouthed, drool seeping into his pillow

✧ osamu: “u still have time to break up with him”

✧ also lucky for you, atsumu also loves to take unflattering photos of you and send them to you randomly at like 2 am

✧ you: “nani tf when did you even take this??”

✧ usually posts a snap while he’s out somewhere like at a match, the gym, outside on a run, a party, or just hanging out with you or his frens

✧ however, makes sure you look good if you show up on his story cuz he wants to show you off

✧ doesn’t really care for streaks, but has a lott

✧ but also has a tON of unopened snaps

✧ is the type to send just a black screen n call it a day, or maybe spice it up by sending a pic of the sexi gym floor (a comeback) w his shoe in the corner

✧ will, however, consistently respond to you and kinda looks forward to ur snaps (secretly hopes you show ur face)

✧ but when you dont:

*in class*

✧ atsumu: *a smirk on his face* “your content’s kinda dry today”

✧ you: *your sexi desk* “my nudez ain’t free, i demand compensation”

✧ atsumu: *grasped his chin in thought, but angled the cam up bc he needa hide his phone in class lolol* “what if i... take you out on a romantic excursion”

✧ you: * your face but with ‘sausage’ filter* “🥵🥵🥵🥵 yessir, what u want”

✧ rlly only wants to have pics of your face wat a closeted sOFTIE

✧ likes to have content on his flashbacks

✧ usually has other social media sources to keep up to date with things

✧ actually rlly digs using sc filters, mostly ones that’ll make him look like a queen

✧ captions a selfie of you two like: “me >>>>>>> y/n”

✧ but nearly everyone who comments on it is like: “i think you flipped the sign, bro 🤥”

✧ judges ppl who are into soap cutting asmr (you will never hear the end of it if you also like it)

a/n: sc kinda dying for me, my use went from suga to an atsumu to like nearly nonexistent LOL

also o gawd i already have ideas here n there for a pt 2 so stay tuned fjxnwfesd hope it takes me less long cuz this one took me fkin foreva LOL

idk y i made semi like mukbangs but i feel like he’d be rlly into them--

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu reader insert #sugawara x reader #kageyama x reader #oikawa x reader #kenma x reader #akaashi x reader #koganegawa x reader #semi x reader #shirabu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu headcanons

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woozi · 3 years ago

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i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

#lov u u genuinely make my days better!! <#*<3 #also the way u called me by name... passing out rn </3 #🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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dreamsafterhours · 4 years ago

Text

college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: II (donghyuk’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff pairings: platonic!mark+dy/n format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college best friend warning: a lil swearing (best get used to it lol)

masterlist

or click here to continue your friendship with paediatrics!haechan!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

II: relationship consolidation.. it’s platonic i swear

the fellowship continues (mark + dy/n)

so the month that follows your first meeting

is full of

a mixture of crackheadedness and tortured artist vibes

a lot of it is sending lit memes and other shit to each other at 2am when u have an 8am the next morning and yelling at each other for keeping u up so late but then laughing again at whatever the ridiculous punchline was

“to quote shakespeare’s hamlet, act v, scene ii, line 270: no”

/deep inhale/ /unhinged laughter/

that’s your inside joke for a whole two weeks mark couldn’t get the numbers right the first few times uwu poor confused thing but he got it after a while so good on him

in the second class after the first day, you try your best to find in him the crowd of people lining up to go into the lecture theatre but you can’t and it’s almost time to go in and—

oop you’re getting swept by the current of the masses

you still try to look for him even then

and luckily your attempts pay off !bc you do see him further up the stairs

,, but he’s

,.talking to another person, sitting in a seat on the end of the row

slightly disappointed that you can’t sit together and get to know him better and hopefully become friends but !! still optimistic that you’ll just make new friends

you file into an empty seat near his row a little further down the stairs from where he was sitting

you take out your materials and start to go over your notes from the day before when

someone plops himself down on the seat next to you

you look up and before you can smile in greeting, you recognise

it’s mark!!

he says “heyyy” in that rlly soft voice idk if you’ve seen the vid of him going ʰᶦ but that’s the voice he uses here

and you’re like “oh hi! wait i thought i saw you sitting over there” pointing behind u

and he’s like “oh i just met a friend and i was saving his girlfriend’s seat haha.. she just arrived so they kicked me out and i saw u and !!yeah”

and u nod at him like “nice nice i thought you ditched me” jokingly ofc

“no no i was actually trying to find you but.. you’re too short”

“i’m what”

/whispers/ “i’m sorry omg don’t kill me pls”

/stands up straighter to assert dominance/ “say that again, marcus. say that again”

ajsagdfo cuties

“ok then should we meet somewhere before the lectures”

so you decide on the benches outside the building as Your Spot™

the lecture’s just an introduction to the first text in the syllabus bc . second class

and so there’s quite a bit of note taking,, naturally

mark forgets what the prof says before he can write it down and this particular prof, you learn, is prone to talking fast and then switching the lecture slides before anyone can write anything important down

poor mark is doing a lot of looking up at the slides and then down at his notebook and :(((

so r u but u seem to have better memory than him so u either have the lecture slides up if you’re a typer with your notes or manage to write your notes and still listen to the prof if you’re a writer idk yalls preferences so

meanwhile mark whispers under his breath,, half to himself

“what” don’t we all,, mark.. don’t we all

and he does that a few times so you look over and he’s written barely anything so at that point he’s almost just resorted to listening to the prof and not taking notes at all

then he seems to catch himself and he starts writing down whatever key terms the prof is spewing and you realise

kid’s blanking out lmfao

so you tell him you’ll send your notes over to him after class and he’s like !! R U SURE im so sorry im not used to this sPEED and i can’t put my hand up and ask him to slow down someone else has to do that

and u just nod and tell him it’s all g

so class ends and you wave goodbye (confirming to meet at the benches next week too) to go to your tutorial class that happens to be right after the lecture and so does he,,

and this is your thought process for the next five or so minutes:

there’s only one exit so surely he’s only going outside and not the same way as me

oh look he’s going the same way as me.. i’m sure he’s just going to another building ooh that’s a pretty cool tree

hey we can walk to our next classes together and then split up where we have to go in different directions

is he turning left or right left or right i’m going left left or right left or—wait oh cool

ah there’s a bunch of classes in this building too surely he’s on a different floor. see he’s going up the stairs—wait he’s going up the stairs.. so am i..,,,

nah surely he’s going up another floor

wait if he’s going up another floor.. why isn’t he going on the elevator

does he have a fear of enclosed spaces

does he have childhood trauma in an elevator

maybe he keeps fit by climbing stairs

lol this is my floor, be funny if..

hang on a second

HANG ON A SECOND

“HANG ON A SECOND” that wasn’t one of your thoughts btw that was. out loud

very loud

and he turns around, startled at your voice again

looking up from his phone and eyes getting wider than they were in their initial reaction

“wHAT THE—WAIT HOLD UP HOLD UP HOLD UP—”

he’s giggling at this point bc it’s so funny to him

“HOLD—YOU’RE?? in this tute too??”

“are we??—”

“—in the same class?” yall say that in unison bc that’s the proliferation of a Wholesome Friendship™ right there

u laugh bc wow this is my new best friend

“this is crazyyy”

“yeah what the f..” he highkey cuts himself off bc i mean day 2 guys

but then you

“exactly what the fuck...”

lmfao he knows then that it’s ok to swear with you

n e ways

y’all keep talking until your tutor arrives and lets you in the class

ofc you sit next to each other in the tute as well

you have a great time and class ends quicker than you thought bc you’re having fun and that’s always gewd

so the next few weeks u’re just vibing with each other

walking to class together after ur lectures

walking each other to other classes

studying together in the library in your spare time catching up on content and exploring ideas discussed in tutes for your shakespearean sonnets class

"o romeo, romeo, wherefore were thou and juliet teenage dumbfucks”

he couldn’t stop laughing at that for three days straight

“t..teENAGE /wheeze/ dUMBFUCKS HAHAHAHAHA”

getting pretty close basically

sharing hobbies and music tastes (u find out he plays guitar and it’s the biggest possession he brought into his dorm from his house and listens to frank ocean and john mayer a lot, watches fullmetal alchemist)

sometimes you’ll come to meet him at the benches full on catwalking down the path with your airpods in and resting bitch face on listening to some dope shit while the crowd parts for you and he’s just like O.O

how is she friends with me

he thinks you’re so cool it’s cute

but he’s also alr convinced himself that you’re so out of his league he highkey won’t dare try and make a move

n e ways

he sees ur airpods and he’s like “aren’t you afraid you’re gonna lose them one day”

and you just look at him and go “do i look like a fool, marcus”

he laughs so hard at that

complaining to you abt his roommate in real time over text like

marcus the fool 🤡: “dude he’s whining at me to ‘play with him’ i don’t want to play with him”

marcus the fool 🤡: “now he’s getting jealous of u”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he asks who u think u r”

you: “tell him i would fight him”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he says u won’t win”

you: “bet”

marcus the fool 🤡: “i told him u don’t need to fight for my attention bc uve alr got it”

marcus the fool 🤡: “now he’s fake crying”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he’s telling me to leave the house and leave the kids”

you: “am i a homewrecker now”

marcus the fool 🤡: “he calls u a homewrecker”

you: “tell him i’ll kiss it better”

one day like a month or so into your friendship

you rush to the benches with that look on your face that says you’re about to murder someone which usually disappears when you see him and take out your airpods bc rbf

so he ,, approaches with caution ,,, easy does it,,

yes he’s wondering if it’s your time of month

ngl it åctually was which makes things worse

t e n t a t i v e l y he asks on the way into the lecture theatre

“hey dy/n u ok?? u look.. ok nvm”

bc u lowkey glared at him but u didn’t mean to i swear u just looked at him but u were alr in a bad mood

so ure like “sorry yes i’m fine i didn’t have my coffee today so i may be a bit cranky”

“what happened? u sleep in or smth”

“yeah i slept at 4 last night”

“wHY did u do that”

“idK but i was running late just now and the line at the cafe was so long i stood in line for five minutes and i said nop class is abt to start”

“oh okey”

this keeps bugging him all throughout the lecture

so he turns to u when the lecture is over and he’s like

“u have another lecture next right”

“yes marcus i have another lecture that you’re taking with me”

“come ditch with me i’ll shout u a coffee”

“what really”

“for sure, we can catch up on the lecture in the library tonight”

and you remember that you’d made plans with your roommate my/n to go to the library that night anyway so you agree and let him know

so he’s like “oh rlly? can i bring my roomie along too he probs doesn’t have other plans anyway i hear they’re doing some kind of project so he better not be going anywhere” with a lil frown uwu angery mark

“sure don’t see why not. we’ll all study together”

“nice i’ll let him know”

“cool”

cool

u see where i’m going with this

waggles eyebrows

wink wink nudge nudge

click here to continue your friendship with paediatrics!haechan!

I ⇤ | II | ⇥ III

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musette22 · 5 years ago

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Hi Minnie! First of all, thank you for being so sweet, reasonable and respectful, I can't even describe how much joy your blog gives me! You are a true pro in emotional support for Evanstan fandom, so I guess I kinda need some reassurance. [1]

The thing is, as you probably know, some Seb stans on Twitter take the whole Chris insta situation and turn it into smth embarassing, like making fun of Seb and Mackie ignoring Chris and calling the idea of the challenge stupid (even though Chris did donate, not just "asked fans for money", as they say). It's like they feel the need to attack the first before smb calls they fav out. [2]

I know there ARE good people in Seb fandom, it's just that the aggressive ones are so loud and spread their bs so fast, I end up seeing it on my TL. No matter how stupid it sounds, it keeps making me sad to see so much hate towards Chris and his fans not from some random locals but from Seb stans. It's like two halves of my heart are torn apart. Not even ship-wise, it just seems so hard to love them both and be present on twitter these days. [3]

And, since I'm whiney af today, one more twitter thing: the CW promo era was some kind of honeymoon for us, sure, but I've recently seen some opinions on how Chris was all lovey-dovey and Seb was stiff and bored and uncomfortable, how their interviews were unnatural and boring. I mean, in my part of fandom (non-English speaking country) there has always been a popular perception of boys' dynamic as these "over-excited puppy playing around a confused cat" vids, if you know what I mean. [4]

But it kinda seemed ok for me, and the way they acted a little awkward around each other etc. Well, you can tell I'm easily affected cause now it does feel more negative to me. Stuuupid, I know. Maybe it's my "let's feel sorry for Chris and his fans" phase, idk. Sorry for bringing it here, you just seem to reassure people so well. [5 and last, it was long lol]

Hello my lovely!! This was indeed long hahaha but that’s totally fine, I myself am also someone who also has trouble keeping things short to I feel you ��

This is a very long reply so I’m putting it under the cut so I don’t clog up people’s dashes!

Okay so first of all, let me say I was never a fan of Twitter, but everything I’ve heard lately has just lowered my opinion of it even further. I know there’s a lot of amazing stuff and brilliant folks on there as well, but it also seems to be where all the bitchy, hateful, entitled and inappropriate people congregate. So personally, I’m very happy with my little community on Tumblr when it comes to fandom, and for news and social media I prefer actual news outlets and instagram. The sad truth is that there are a lot of harmful and hateful opinions in the world, and as someone who struggles with anxiety, I try to find ways to avoid a lot of it. Especially the stuff I can’t do anything about (you can try to reason with most haters until you’re blue in the face, and 90% of the time it’s not going to make an ounce of difference). It’s much easier to curate your own experiences on platforms like Tumblr and even Instagram than it is on Twitter, or so I’ve gathered. So I’m afraid I don’t have a lot of helpful advice for you there apart from ‘maybe try and stay away from Twitter if you can’ which you probably don’t really want either...

As for the whole Seb vs Chris issue: it’s clearly completely ridiculous. There is no ground whatsoever to believe they’re at odds. At worst, they’re now just casual work friends, but there is no reason to believe there’s any bad blood. It’s interesting to consider that initially, the argument seemed to be they had fallen out and both disliked each other (no idea where that came from but sure), then it was that Chris didn’t like Sebastian (because he allegedly shaded him when he joked that Scarjo was the only one of his friends who came to see Lobby Hero), and then Chris got Instagram and tagged and followed Seb, but because Seb hasn’t responded to the challenge yet, he now apparently hates Chris. For what reason, god only knows, because only last year at MCM London (where I was present myself) Sebastian gushed about Chris and his experiences with him while filming the Cap movies, and lets not forget it was him who initiated the hug at the Endgame premiere. Long story short: they don’t dislike each other. They’re completely fine, people just like to make up drama for whatever reason.

As for the Sebastian stans who hate Chris and vice vera: to be honest, I wasn’t even really aware it was an issue until recently, because I was under the naive impression that it was kind of impossible to love one but hate the other. Both of them are such amiable, sweet, thoughtful, funny, talented guys, and everyone who actually knows them adores them, so why on earth anyone could hate either of them is beyond me. But even if you do, I genuinely don’t understand this need to pit them against each other? Why? I think a lot of it is down to people just liking drama, or being actual 12 year-olds who still see the world in a kind of high school dynamic-way. I’m not saying Chris and Sebastian have never done anything wrong, but in my opinion, none of it warrants outright hate or being cancelled over. It’s such an immature and unreasonable take. I’m just sorry for the people who can’t love both of them, because man, are they missing out! I understand that it’s painful for you to see all those opinions when you love both of them so much, but that’s why I try to just avoid them. I know they exist, but not seeing them makes dealing with it a whole lot easier, I promise! ❤️

With regard to the challenge itself: if the celebrities who are taking part in it are not donating themselves, then yeah, that would be problematic. However, we know that Chris donates to a ton of different charities, so there’s no doubt in my mind that he’s donated to this cause as well. Asking people to buy tickets to try and win this “prize” is not in itself an issue, if you ask me. People can think for themselves, can’t they? If they think it’s worth it, they think it’s worth it. They’re not being forced to part with their money, and moreover said money is being used to help people in need. Of course fake and problematic charities exist, but there are still good ones out there as well, so let’s assume for the moment this one is actually doing all of this from a genuine desire to help people and it’s not some money grabbing scheme.

Furthermore, as I’ve said so many times before, I really don’t believe Sebastian and Mackie are “ignoring” Chris. If they’re choosing not to do the challenge (they still might do it at some point) then I’m sure they have a good reason for that and it isn’t that they’re holding a grudge and are thinking “screw this charity and that Chris Evans, I’m going to ghost him to get my revenge!” I mean, do these people even realize how ridiculous that sounds 🙄 I also believe they would have let Chris know about their decision privately. They do have each other’s phone numbers, you know...

And lastly, about the CW press tour... I don’t know what footage these people have been watching to come to such conclusions, or what’s wrong with their eyes and ears, but that makes NO sense to me. I’ll tell you what; it was mostly the footage from the CW press tour that got me convinced there was something going in between the two of them! Both Chris and Sebastian acted in a way that screamed “smitten kittens” to me, and if there was ever any “stiffness” from Sebastian’s side, then that was no doubt just his slightly more reserved personality compared to Chris and Mackie’s. Chris and Sebastian’s videos together give me LIFE, so for anyone to call them boring is actually kind of insulting lol. To me, almost every interaction Chris and Seb had during that press tour showed that they were either low-key (in a friendship way) or high-key (in a romantic way) crushing on each other, and they clearly admire each other very much. Any awkwardness I’ve ever seen between them for me seemed to stem from that crush (is anyone not at least a little awkward around their crush sometimes?) and not from any dislike from either side. That’s actually such a ridiculous idea to me that it doesn’t even make me worried, it just makes me laugh. Some people really don’t have eyes, it seems.

Anyway, that was a reeeeeeaaaaaallllyyyyy long reply lmao, I’m sorry! I hope this helps a little though, because I do know how shitty it is to feel like you do about things that are supposed to make you happy!! Tuning out the haters and focusing on people who feel the same way you do in my experience is the best way to get to feeling good again 🥰 Big hug, and hopefully you’ll feel better soon!

#evanstan #rpf #minnie answers #Anonymous

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britishchick09 · 4 years ago

Text

sherlock s2 ep 1 livewatch

welcome to a new (cumber)batch of eps! i’m excited to see all the iconic moments in this one :D

i haven’t even played the dvd yet and it’s glorious :’)

ooh it starts with a ‘previously’!!!

JIM MOIARTY HIIII!!!! :D

moiarty is amazing (and this recap is so dramatic!)

OMG SHERLOCK NECK FRECKLE! :o

also seeing the old channel 8 logo in the corner is so cool! :D

HOLD UP why is bee gees playing

IS MOIARTY A BEE GEES FAN???

‘staying alive’ lol funny since he’s about to get shot :D

moiarty: “SAY THAT AGAIN!!!!!” say that again QUIETER MOIARTY GEEZ

and he just walks away!!!

shoe sherlock cool

sherlock 2 NOW

oh no it’s irene alder...

masterpiece INTRO YAAAASSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

me watching sherlock be like:

the masterpiece trust is just rich people cool

omg the viking river cruises spon is the same as today! :D

woah they’re playing a movie trailer! :o

it’s a british movie obviously and i’ve never heard of it OBVIOUSLY

the scottish host guy is talking and i love it :D

host: “his mind has more apps than an iphone” lol

“a series of his three most famous cases begins! are you ready?” HECK YEAH LET’S GOOOO!!!!!!

YAS the blog scene!

sherlock: “what are you typing?” john: “a blog... about us”

lady: “i think my husband is having an affair.” sherlock: “yes”

sherlock thinks cases are boring except

sherlock ‘cases don’t need titles’ holmes

WOAH SHERLOCK JUST TOLD A LITTLE GIRL THAT DEAD PEOPLE BURN :o

lestrade: “any ideas?” john: “eight so far” wowza :o

sherlock ‘don’t mention the unsolved cases’ holmes

glasseslock!!!!! :D

eyyyyyyyy ;D

people want pics of sherlock and john do johnlockers exist in this universe? :o

lol :D

irene is seductively putting her hand on lockie’s newspaper pic ewww :(

mrs. hudson hates the fridge

THUMBS IN THE FRIDGE FRIDGE THUMBS

mrs. hudson: “BOYS YOU’VE GOT ANOTHER ONE!!!’ *insert meme here*

ooh it spins into a flashback!

OMG JOHNLOCK VID CHAT!!!!

sherlock’s in the sheet! :o

*phone rings* sherlock: SHUT. UP!!!!” lol :D

john’s holding his laptop around lol :D

john: ‘there’s a mute button and i will use it” aka the 2020 president debates

woah some random guys are in lockie’s house and john needs a helicopter what’s up with that????

BUCKINGHAM PALACE YAAAASSS!!!!!!!

john looks under...

giggly!!!!!

♥

mycroft is the queen now

BOI LOCKIE’S LIKE ‘what for?’ TO PUT PANTS ON OMMGGGGGGG

john smol be like :o

guy: “mr holmes the younger”

LOCK BUTT LOCK BUTT NOOOOOOO

john be like o///o ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

o lockie’s’s in clothes again :/

mycroft doesn’t trust the secret service welcome to america

i don’t like irene not because there’s apparently a thing between her and sherlock but because she’s a bit creepy!

THERE LIKE THAT!

sherlock: “photographs of whom?” ooh how fancy

sherlock: “laters!!” lol! :D

irene’s friend is named kate like channel 8 being called ‘kaet’! :D

fashionista! :o

yes this is ‘the right armor’ lockie

john: “you didn’t even change your clothes!” lol :D

sherlock: “go on punch me in the face” lol :D

watson: “i always hear ‘punch me in the face’ when you’re speaking in subtext” ...wut o_O

WORST BATTLE DRESS EVER NNNOPE IMMA HEAD OUT

are sherlock and irene being shipped because they were naked in the same up

irene: “i could cut myself slapping your face” louise belcher wants your number

bi john when he sees irene: o///o “...i’ve missed something haven’t i?”

sherlock isn’t affected by naked irene thus i headcanon him as aro/ace (or even demi/ace in john’s case like my own holmes character) thank you and good night

irene just sits her bare butt on the chair why

JOHN SISTER NANI???? :o

also this font is so basic WHY LOCKIE

irene: “somebody loves you” *glances at john* ok i like her a tad she gets it ;)

john: “put something on, please. like.. a napkin?” lol :D

irene’s like ‘why’ JUS LIKE SHERLOCK BUT I SHALL NOT SHIP THIS SHIP THE SHOW IS TRYING TO SHIP

also john giggles at naked sherlock and is like ‘plz no’ with naked irene (although i would be too that lady is OUT THERE)

ooh antiques roadshow! :D

also she’s dressed like lockie NO

irene: “brainy is the new sexy” plz no :(

she took her clothes off ‘to make an impression’ yep

WAIT they were just outside now they’re back in wut???

irene was born in the 80s cool :D

WOAH why are there more guy with guns?

and *le gasp* AN AMERICAN????

DON’T SHOOT JOHN AMERICAN!!!

ooh what was the code? :o

EPIC SLOW MO FIGHT YOOOOOO

DANNNNG IRENE JUS GUN SMACKED A GUY

sherlock just flipped a phone LIKE A FLIP PHONE OHHHH

irene is number 1 sherlock fan besides john confirmed

at first i thought it was a fandom phrase but it’s not! :o

WHY DID IRENE JUST PUNCH SHERLOCK

SHE’S WHIPPING HIM????

this reminds me of a certain sw ship... :(

yeah i don’t ship them AT ALLLLLL NOW

the key code is irene’s measurements DOES SHE MEAN...

the camera’s spinning FLASHBACK???

woah are they in the case?? this could be sherlock’s mind palace!

irene: “you got that just from one look? definitely the new sexy” NONONONONOO

outside bed

awww sweet bby ;)

did john tuck him in?

CRAP it was ireneeeeee >:(

the way she says ‘hush now it’s ok...’ is like count olaf in the hostile hospital when he drugs violet :o

LOCKIE’S FIRST WORDS WHEN WAKING UP WHERE JOHN awwww :D

OMG DID JOHN REALLY TUCK HIM IN awwww!!!!!!! ♥

lestrade filmed loopy sherlock lol :D

john: “ahhh back to bed!” awww :)

sherlock: “iiii’m fine i’m absolutely fine!!!’ drugged sherlock is a treasure ♥

sherlock: ”why would i need you?” john: “no reason at all” :)

ew was that an irene phone moan gross

DID SHERLOCK CHANGE HIS TEXT NOTIF TO THAT???

mrs. hudson: “family is all we have in the end, mycroft holmes!” mycroft: “oh shut up, mrs. hudson!” john: “my-“ sherlock: “MYCROFT!!!!” lol :D

mrs. hudson: “it’s a bit rude that noise isn’t it?” indeed!!

sherlock: “you can follow her on twitter” TWITTER IN THE HOLMESVERSE????

sherlock: “there’s more! much more” but wait... THERE’S MORE!

LOCKIE VIOLIN!!!!! :D

THE CHRISTMAS THING WASN’T A FAN MANIP HOLY YAS!!!!!!!! :D

cool sweater john!!! :D

molly: ‘having christmas drinkies then?” wallace wants walkies thank you very much

john: “she’s off the booze!” sherlock: “nnnope” john: “shut up sherlock” lol

john to sherlock: ‘take a day off” lockie doesn’t know the concept mr doc

DID SHERLOCK NAME MOLLY CRY???? :o

HE KISSED HER????

sherlock still has the irene moan after all this time WHY

finding irene on christmas coolio :D

molly: “how did sherlock recognize her by... without her face?” ;)

sherlock smoking bad >:(

WOAH IS IRENE DEAD?????

VIOLIN YAS!!!! :D

smiley smiley :)

awww sherlock plucked a bit :)

OH CRAP IRENE’S BACC

john: “you flirted with sherlock holmes? “someone jellyyyy ;)

OOHH THIS IS THE IRENE JOHNLOCK SCEEENE!!!!!!! :D

irene: “you jealous?” john: “we’re not a couple!” irene: “yes you are.” ;)

john: “i’m not actually gay” irene: “well i am” IRENE LESBIAN GOOD!!!!

irene: “look at us both” (or perhaps bi like john could be...?)

biiiiiig door creak

UGH american... >:(

someone comfort mrs. hudson!! :(

sherlock: “take away your boys. it makes up for too much stupid in the room” he’s surrounded by idiots...

OMG SHERLOCK PEPPER SPRAYYY

awww he’s comforting mrs. hudson :)

john comfort! ♥

the guy’s tied up like the foody moody in bob’s burgers cool :D

awww mrs. hudson’s in shock :(

sherlock: “mrs. hudson leaving baker street? england would fall!” awww! :D

john says ‘alive’ like an irish guy :D

OMG IT’S NEW YEAR!!!!

happy violin new year! :D

sherlock’s xraying a phone lol

john said ‘in your bedroom’ BUT IT’S HIS AND SHERLOCK’S

and irene’s! :o

sherlock: “who wants to kill you?” irene: “killers” lol :D

sherlock said ‘the strand’!!!! :D

irene looks better without lipstick :)

the code is ‘i am SHERlocked’ HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW???

random john middle name reveal lol :D

FOR BABY NAMES NOOOO

john’s is hamish and eugene’s (from tangled) is hoarace... it’s the weird h middle name club! :D

sesame street time :D

...what in the world did sherlock just spout

john said ‘flight double o 7′ JAMES BOND REFERENCE????

MYCROFT IS SAYING ‘BOND ERE IS GO’ yep that’s bond!!!

sherlock didn’t notice john was gone for 2 hours lol :D

ooh sherlock says ‘second world war’ instead of ‘world war two’ :o

NONONONONNONONONONNOOOOOOOOO

sherlock: “that’s not the end of the world, that’s mrs. hudson” lol :D

mycroft: “that’s the deceased, always late” hey yeah :o

WOAH HE JUST CALLED SHERLOCK NAIVE AND IRENE A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS :o

oh hey irene

irene: “jim moiarty sends his love” ha ha funny love :D

WAIT MOIARTY CALLS SHERLOCK A VIRGIN??? :o

THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS NOOOOO

bada bing BADA BOOM!!!!!!!!!

wowza it’s been 6 months since they met???

sherlock: “sorry about dinner” *leaves* yesss :)

i’m glad they didn’t kiss and just held hands that was nice to make johnlock dreams fly :)

OMG IRENE LEGIT DIED THIS TIME BY BEHEADING!!!!! :o

john told sherlock she was in amurica good :)

lockie wants her camera phone aww :(

way better than any hand holding irene and sherlock did! ♥

awww irene texted sherlock goodbye :(

ew the irene moan one last time...

sherlock laughed and called her ‘a woman... the woman’ awww :)

that was a bittersweet ending! :)

aaaand it’s over!

next time... ;)

that was a great season premiere!!! irene was kind of cool (i like how she and sherlock were just friends) and the mystery was engaging as always. and of course... it was nice finally hearing lockie’s violin!! here’s to next time! :D

#livewatch #these always take forever but they're fun!

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twiddlebirdlet · 4 years ago

Text

Inbox Collective Part I

Anonymous said: People are saying we should be happy because Chris looks happy. Looking happy and actually being happy are two different things. Yeah, he’s smiling in those pics but IS he happy? That’s the most important question. He said once before he’s a terrible liar and while I do believe he may have tells, he’s a talented actor, which means he I’m sure he can fake it good enough when be needs to. This is the same man who hid his face while out his fam at Disney now he’s facing the camera? 💁🏾‍♀️ LOL

Anonymous said: I hope whatever Chris is getting out of this arrangement is worth it because he looks like a joke now

Anonymous said: Here’s the thing, I wouldn’t actually mind if they were real. I’d support it and think it’s cute. But everything they’re doing looks fake and staged to the max. You never know, they could be Ben/Ana or Shawn/Camila 2.0 where it seemed fake, but turned out to be real, or Tom Hiddleston/Taylor Swift where it was clearly PR. Only time will tell. However, I do think it’s ironic that Tom/Taylor happened around the time Tom was nominated for a Globe, and won. Chris’ team def wants that Emmy nod.

Anonymous said: JS said in Vulture that he is extremely a private person and here he is doing poses for the paps in the middle of a pandemic lol. I thought MK was the girl who will call paps on them I guess here is Lily lol.

Anonymous said: Niall Horan said if you dont want to be papped you will not be papped. This photo reeks PR stunt. Taylor and Tom already did this back then when he is about to be nominated in emmys 🤣 I guess this one is way worse than Minka.

Anonymous said: you saw video 🤣 !! Backgrid said it was yesterday July 7, not today 😂🤣 DailyM they you left so bad as always 🤣 and they killed your article love in the park with the video 🤣🤣😂

Anonymous said: Srsly. They shouldve brought in the professionals to handle this. Did a table read. "Block the shot (set up up their positions, actions, etc)" at the hotel. Fincher, DuVernay, Joon-hoo. Or maybe Apatow since this and his life is a "big dumb comedy." His words. 😉

Anonymous said: For his next pap walk, I would suggest him making some training and some chemistry test before. Just the looks of him and the actress can sell the stuff for the public (who will not give a second thought after seeing that) but the older stans that will follow him through the years, will see through it quickly.

Anonymous said: Never thought we would reach another low level after JS.

Anonymous said: The fucker always walks like that when he knows he’s being watched. I can’t deal hahahah SO PR 🤣😂

Anonymous said: I could've lived without the video. It was bizarre. The ice cream eating was aggressive lol😂. Idc what anyone says they aren't comfortable around each other. She actively swung out of the way to avoid touching him while walking. They should've built up reporrt before public outings. But I guess Chris' time is limited like they bought his time along with the daily mail package. I feel like this is going to be very t swift hiddleston. He won't ever live it down and when asked insist it was real.

Anonymous said: I wonder how hard they’ll try to sell this crap in the coming weeks/months when it’s obvious that they’re trying so hard right now that they’re massively failing lol

Anonymous said: I kinda got a feeling after Saturdays pap stroll things fell through and after getting dragged for not wearing masks, and that this is damage control and he’s just not that into her. Especially with the watermelon thing paired with the weird body language. Like it seems so, odd.

Anonymous said: To the other anon questioning watermelon talking: Acting is actually quite ridiculous. If you saw hot things look on set, you would not be in awe. Everything is exaggerated and fake. It all comes together in editing. Most of the big actors I’ve seen on set often look quite silly in the moment.

Anonymous said: Biiiitch can you imagine? Lily: *licks ice cream* Hey Chris, watermelon. Chris: *licks ice cream* Haha, watermelon. Anyway all this just truly gets me thinking about if he does one day end up with a girlfriend and keeps it on the down low, is he willing to continue these types of publicity stunts. He has said in interviews that he wants to settle down and have kids but I think if that was something he truly wanted he could find it. I don’t think he’s ready to give up the Hollywood game just yet

Anonymous said: to the anon who said they would find chris and lily saying random words silly- they could be talking about how stupid the fans who buy this are and how many "cute couple"s and" they're adorable together"s they're gonna get after this cringe fest. or maybe she told him how she'd staged this to get rid of the "lily james snorting powder in a park" images that come up first on google search and she's happy he agreed 😏 for whatever reason none of us knows (yet)

Anonymous said: So they not even have a real conversation? Whoa 😲 this show getting worse every minute

Anonymous said: (Diff anon, I’ll use 🔅 as my marker for when I send in) As an actress upcoming in the industry watermelon talking is probs the first thing you learn in scene work if you’re a backdrop/extra/filler. This looks extremely staged and I’ve had training for dealing with paps/how to look and act when paps are around. Also notice how they’re “faced out”. If you’re an actor you know how to face your body outwards towards “the crowd” to get a good shot. They’re sitting to get perfectly photographed.

Anonymous said: I'm pretty sure I read on here or maybe elsewhere "We're not going to find out who his future girlfriend is based on who he follows on Twitter." Well technically I guess that's true :D Also we were dismissive of any chance of him and that athlete because she lives in Canada, and yet he was willing to go to the UK.

Anonymous said: They look like two people who are trying to ACT like they don’t want to be noticed and be all nonchalant but in fact they know the whole purpose of being there is to be noticed. It’s an act, pure and simple.

Anonymous said: The way they are eating their ice cream in saying one word between two licks is so weird! One strick tongue, one word, one strick tongue, one word. First time i see people eat like that. In a normal universe you talk and time to time you eat. You make break between. And are eating them so quickly. And Chris doesn't see to be the kind of man who lay down the grass like that. They are a big joke.

hagarsays said: But also we don’t know what’s happening behind the scenes maybe there is something going on between them we don’t know but saying this whole thing is stage well maybe it is but also what happen if they are dating and they are making it official now I’m not trying to start a fight or anything this is just what o think

Anonymous said: I'm feeling second hand embarrassment from all of this. Even if it seems it's working for his mentions on twitter.

Anonymous said: Me on Monday: Chris, where is 😷; me on wedneday afternoon: Chris, what 😯🤔🙄; me on wednesday night: oh, Chris 😂🤣🙈🤦‍♀️

Anonymous said: Maybe this whole things is the "work" he traveled across the ocean for…

Anonymous said: This is hiddleswift 2.0 😂

Anonymous said: Two PROFESSIONAL actors can’t fake one date. He really think he will be nominated for Emmy? Go back to Concord Youth theatre and learn some lessons how to look like you on a real date.

Anonymous said: For me what sold this as a PR move (no matter whether they get romantically involved with each other for real or not) is not just the fact of the timely pics and vid from BackGrid but usually when celebrities are "unknowingly"/ "unexpectedly" papped almost immediately you find fan pics of their sightings all over the place. But that's not on their case.

Anonymous said: I’m imagining a Ben and Ana situation where we get pap pics of Chris and Lily in Boston and Chris’s niece and nephews are running around with a Lily James cutout 🤣

Anonymous said: celebrities as big as chris and lily have incredibly talented teams... youre telling me BOTH TEAMS were unable to properly hide them from the paparazzi??? nah, they definitely wanted to be seen.

Anonymous said: That video has my DYING😂😂😂 y’all are actors do better😂😂

Anonymous said: At first I was mad at Chris for this shit he made, but after that video I can’t wait for more. THIS IS THE BEST COMEDY SHOW. Chris please don’t stop, give us more material to lost respect for you.

Anonymous said: Something that I always found attractive on Chris is the fact that although he played the PR game, it was subtle and he never looked thirsty. For me, the paps pics used to be a happy occasion to see him. Now he looks... thirsty? Still not on the same level of other celebs but it seems he took the first steps to reach that low. I have nothing to say about Lilly. That is her thing, she is just doing more of the same. And she is definitily not alone on this.

Anonymous said: He might hate having to do this, but he's choosing to, and not even bothering to *try* to look into her. That video made it glaringly clear that it's all pr

Anonymous said: I feel like you don’t want him and lily James to date Idk why

Anonymous said: I’m so sorry but this is not a real relationship. That video and these park pics really did it for me. I can’t stop laughing at this spectacle I feel like this is more Megan for damage control

Anonymous said: that video makes it look so staged even the way they are sitting. Wonder what will be next?

Anonymous said: I think these pics were taken on Saturday the day after. It has been wet in London (good ole British summer) and they would not be sitting on wet grass. Does scream PR. Chris will have to be returning soon to US for his ASP launch unless he zooms from London. Sill can’t believe he would fly over for a hook up it has to be work related as will.

Anonymous said: What’s going to happen if they come out and say they been dating you still not going to believe them you will still think it’s PR

Anonymous said: Also if they wanted this whole thing to be PR they would have started a long time go before DJ came out I really think they are dating like we can never know what happens behind close time

Anonymous said: I don’t even know which parts of that video more funny. That awkward ice cream licking while paps shouting or that awkward walk like two strangers. And some people really think these two are real life prince and princess love story.

Anonymous said: I feel like we are all jumping to conclusions with this whole lily and Chris situation but MAYBE JUST MAYBE they are really dating

Anonymous said: I feel embarrassed for them in these photos. No offense I don’t mean to come off rude. But this is so staged. I thought maybe this was real but a video I’m sorry there was a purpose for this

Anonymous said: There nothing wrong with the video the paparazzi is being so nosey you acting like they are staring at the camera but they are not they are just talking

Anonymous said: They look more interested in their ice creams than each other 🤣. Why didn't Jenny get this treatment? At least Minka got a few pap walks.

Anonymous said: There nothing wrong with the video the paparazzi is being so nosey you acting like they are staring at the camera but they are not they are just talking

Anonymous said: Oh yeaaaah, they seem super natural and in love in that video 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Anonymous said: Is there any possibility that they are genuinely dating/having a fling but are using it for PR at the same time? Or are perhaps just fwb?

Anonymous said: I know this is a weird thought, but her clutching the hotel bag felt like her guilty conscience speaking. If she really had slept with him, she wouldn’t be so desperate to prove it. Maybe I’m wrong, though. He flew all that way, he might as well get something out of it, since he’s killing his reputation. I thought I actually heard a story about him laughing at the TS drama on the avengers set. Oh, how the tables have turned.

Anonymous said: Do you think there’s any possibility they’re just starting out dating or just friends with benefits maybe?

Anonymous said: Someone on Twitter said Lily begins filming something later this month? Hopefully this nonsense won't last for long. He's sort of flushing away his credibility and good will by pulling such stunts when so may people are going through such hardships and tragedy. It's so insensitive and out of touch. Especially if this is all for an Emmy nom. That award belongs to Mark Ruffalo anyway.

Anonymous said: I would pay all my money to see Scott’s reaction watching those pictures from the park. I think he’s second hand embarrassed for his brother. Or maybe Chris will get some lessons how yo look more natural on their next date.

Anonymous said: I agree with you. Celebs can't scream "my privacy", "leave me alone", or "ugh, LA" (as Chris said once in an interview) when they are doing this kind of thing. That are actors and actresses who never used this kind of tool or are rarely papped and manage to have a good career. But maybe those are the more talented, that get screenplays at their doors? Or the ones who truly give a sh*t about fame?

Anonymous said: So we've decided all this PR probably isn't for ASP, and maybe it's for the Emmys, even though it's a long shot he'll be nominated, and he definitely won't win. That's a hell of a lot of hassle to go through. And I still don't get why it was necessary to go to the UK for this when he could've been papped with an American actress. Is it just because it'll be easier to break up with her when the charade is over? Long-distance, conflicting schedules etc.

Anonymous said: First time of his pap walk career I see Chris watching paparazzi. Not one made unintentionally but a few! And in laughing! He never did it with Minka, he lowered his head or acted usually, same with Jenny and their airport pics, just the time to order a taco or get their bags back but now he watches the camera, exposed during maybe one hour?

Anonymous said: I heard that today it is raining in London! people who live there mentioned it !! So maybe these photos were not really from today

Anonymous said: There’s always been something I’ve disliked about Lily, I’m usually really into actresses but with her there’s just something that is off-putting, perhaps cold or clout chasing etc. Do you know what I mean? I can’t exactly put my finger on it but my guesses/feelings/thoughts about famous individuals and people in general usually turn out to be correct without fail.

Anonymous said: I’m a Trevor Noah fan! How do y’all know him and Minka are dating?👀

Anonymous said: Why I want to know is why Chris would do this with Lily of all people, she’s so not his type from what he’s said but he’s also said that that goes out the door when you meet someone. They don’t seem to have anything really in common other than acting? Do they have any shared likes, he’s known for being really politically involved and she doesn’t, he seems a big animal lover but she doesn’t. Anything else you’d like to add? 😂

Anonymous said: Someone needs to create an account like that Ana de armas update account on twitter soon if this keeps going the way it is...

Anonymous said: So I’ve got a really really good intuition/sixth sense it’s actually quite scary. I can usually guess correct on things that happen months before they actually do or pick up on people’s changes etc. I have an uneasy feeling about Chris and Lily together, something doesn’t seem natural or adding up to me.

Anonymous said: I find this whole thing just odd. I think celebrities are so used to being at the forefront of news outlets that with the virus and movements they are doing really desperate things for attention and it’s almost humorous.

Anonymous said: Is it just me or was lily distant like alway looking away , and towards the paps ?

Anonymous said: I guess it’s safe to say this sh**how is going to get worse before it gets better (and less fake?)

Anonymous said: You said : “As for ASP, I don’t think he gives a crap about that at this point.” That’s kind of sad, seeing that he put so much effort into it, maybe that’s we’re all this comes from.

hagarsays said: Wait Chris probably went to London after he did his pre-recorded stuff for variety,deadline and 92y

Anonymous said: If i was chris’ PR, i would def not want this PR stunt to be bc we’re pushing for an emmy nom. Thats just tasteless & not the mark of a “serious” actor like chris wants to be. He made a mistake ignoring the deadline interview (unretweeting) bc it is just one of the few big ways that could get ppl taking him seriously bc it was MATURE. Lowkey weird to be 39 & doing classless PR stunts w/ an actress who isnt down to settle like he seems to want

Anonymous said: US said same thing as dm. I do not confirm the relationship between them again! that leaves me a lot to think about 🤔

Anonymous said: I’m confused. You do think that yes they are a real couple or no they’re not and it’s just PR?

Anonymous said: Def agree with you about ASP. Now it seems like he didn’t even give a shit. Some would think someone who wants to be taken seriously with his political website he would stay lowkey and wouldnt pull a PR bullshit but here we are. I guess Emmy nom is more important. Also guys its not about fans its about general public. The more ppl talk about him the more getting a nod from Emmy. Cuz the award shows need audience and if the ppl they nominate has new ppl interested in them it means more watchers!

Anonymous said: What post did he like that mentioned him? Was this on Twitter? What did the post say? Very confused and speculative rn bc this seems so staged.

Anonymous said: I can't wait till the paps 'accidentally' catch them strolling around Concord 😂

Anonymous said: Is that a new necklace Chris has, the pendant looks bigger than the usual one or is it just me. Also noticed the gold watch 😳

Anonymous said: Reminds me of hiddleswift that relationship started when he was in talks to get a GG. If we get lovey dovey pics i will be on the PR train. plus she has work scheduled for the fall and he’s kind of a homebody and she insta allowed in the country. So I don’t think it will last

Anonymous said: I’m confused about why get a cab to the park. Also it’s friggin cold here ATM. And many showers. Why bother.

Anonymous said: Mood, I'm not sure if it was you that mentioned that some of his friends posted pics on SM attending parties for 4th july. Analyzing all this situation I think that Chris and at least some of his friends can be entitled and irresponsible. He was even more irresponsible.

Anonymous said: This is backfiring on Chris big time. Some of his stans might be kissing his ass, but other people are pissed. The photos made it to ONTD and people are shitting on Chris real hard. And talking about Lily snorting it up in the park the other day IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC. Those photos of Lily barely had any rotation and now people keep bringing them up. This is so stupid. Why would he do this now?

Anonymous said: Also, one last thing: I think this confirms that chris DEFINITELY has a type, and it has nothing to do with brunette hair, her own independence or a great ass. Instead, his type really does seem to be basic, emotionally needy and fame thirsty actress. Like, he's on chick #3 who seems desperately thirsty for media attention. It's a pattern ON HIS PART for sure. I don't think he really cares about privacy so much as he cares about being judged or seen in a negative way.

Anonymous said: all theses pics of Chris made me wonder why we never see any pap pics of him with his family I find a little strange cause they are very close

Anonymous said: It can't be just me that thinks that if the did indeed hook up this weekend or even before (where even is that theory coming from), then they'd at least look more comfortable around each other. Because you'd think the play would've been this park set up first and then the hotel stunt.

Anonymous said: Anyways, I wonder if Jenny is getting married soon? Because as soon as I saw the ice cream pics, my first thought was: oh, I see, so jenny's wedding must be coming up soon... like this is a kind of petty revenge on his part. He's just such a dumbass that he fucked it up by forgetting about the global pandemic. Doh! I may be crazy, but my intuition about stuff like that is very often on point.

Anonymous said: Idk why but i feel like maybe Michelle introduces them since lily and Michelle worked on downton Abby and Chris and Michelle worked on defending Jacobs maybe that’s how they meet or got introduced

Anonymous said: They went to the park so whenever you Google "Lily James Park" you get these pictures w/ Chris instead of the ones of her snorting whatever it was she was snorting the other day.

Anonymous said: Worse than that, wasn't the post actually criticizing/mocking him? So he reads. He's OBVI on board with this, so of course he's checking for or is being informed of it's reception in real-time. His "Old man yells at sky" spiel abt mod tech doesn't jibe w his deleting a couple of tone deaf tweets (months aft his mentions/comments were in shambles), getting "caught" liking/unliking at lightning speed, etc. He reads, he just responds subtly: Dodger content, blue hearts, got snippy in a kids video.

Anonymous said: It still sucks that he did this when people are literally dying due to Covid19. Surely, their meet cute could have waited till things were better? I was supposed to fly to London later this year but can't because I'm not a wealthy white men with an abundance of privilege. It's like they are rubbing their privilege in our noses. Even if this is real, it's a terrible way to begin things. Makes them both look careless and selfish.

Anonymous said: Why do you think Chris went on instagram Was it maybe to see what people thought out him and lily being together Or because he relieds he should of been wearing a mask , and wanting to see how people reacted to that

Anonymous said: What do you think is going on? I’m so confused as to whether they’re genuinely dating and whether they’ve been dating for a while or not, how they’re going to work the relationship- will she move or will he? Is it PR? She’s only been known lately for her Sky Mobile ads so publicity for her, and also the Backgrid stuff

Anonymous said: I think she called the paps at the hotel and now the morning after Chris is doing damage control with mask and ice cream. She is literally holding the hotel bag probably from the night before. To your point no way they would release his hotel

Anonymous said: Plus Lily has been papped multiple times since lockdown began. I don't she has ever been photographed in a mask. So this is a first for her. He obviously told her to wear one.

Anonymous said: I showed other people the pics, including someone NOT in the fandom, and they said it doesn’t look like a couple. It just looks like friends. None of the pics look “cozy”...he’s walking with his hands in his pockets and when his hands are out, they aren’t holding hands. They are just walking and talking like friends. And she looks directly in the camera again. She KNEW paps were there. It’s so staged it’s embarrassing 🤦‍♀️ Why would HE be okay with that? I thought he hated Minka doing that?

Anonymous said: dodger better be pissed about that shitty haircut. if chris was going to break quarantine anyway, what was it all for?

Anonymous said: The fact they went for a masked pap walk today totally shows they or their teams checked their mentions.

Anonymous said: Did they leave the park together in the taxi or just her?

Anonymous said: I guess that the mission was accomplished with the new pics. Anyone who dares to mention that there is still a pandem... STOP BEING JEALOUS!!!! CINAMOON ROLL IS JUST LIVING HIS LIFE! HE DESERVES IT!!! Wait, but he traveled from the country that has more cases... YOU ARE JEALOUS! HE NEVER DOES ANYTHING RIGHT FOR YOU BAD FANS THAT DON'T SUPPORT HIM! STOP! IT WILL HURT HIS FEELINGS!!!! LET ME CUDDLE MY CUTE 39 YEARS OLD BABY!!!!! But now on a serious note, I think I'm finally done with fandoms. Anonymous said: I’m confused about the timeline. The article says Wednesday but people who live in London say the weather is not consistent with the photos. It’s rainy and cold. Who rolls around in wet grass? But why lie about the day?

Anonymous said: Even if it’s not him checking what’s being said about him someone on his team is don’t be naive anon.

Anonymous said: She hasn’t been seen wearing one in public during the day until today...lol they knew to wear one

Anonymous said: Chris is wearing a bandana for dogs.... I was searching it up and yes it is for Dogs and it is the same pattern..... As a fan of taylor swift, this is basically the same with tom hiddlestone. A complete PR one lol. You can even clearly see it🤣🤣🤣

Anonymous said: Even if Chris wasn’t checking his mentions, his team definitely is. They are paid to do do. But he is checking 😉

Anonymous said: usa magazine said the same thing as daily M !! I do not confirm the relationship between them again! that leaves me a lot to think about?

Anonymous said: That fact that once again they are both looking into the camera has me rolling my eyes. You both are actors you are paid to NOT look into cameras🙄

Anonymous said: Times will tell if it's just a hook up or a serious relationship

Anonymous said: Wait did Megan courier that mask to him 😂

Anonymous said: i think chris needs to go home and have a serious think about his action maybe scott and mama evans can talk some sense into him

Anonymous said: it’s so strange that him and seb have this going on at the same time

Anonymous said: Damn. This all could have be done is such a cute and fairy tale way if they waited a little bit. But I guess overall people are liking and we are just a small piece of the internet. But in middle of a pandemic? Really gross for a "woke and political" bae. His privilege is showing.

Anonymous said: I’m sorry Minka dear for calling you the attention seeker who calls paps on you and Chris. I guess this one is the worse Lol.

Anonymous said: If this isn't for the Emmy nom, then I can't comprehend why he's doing this. Many people are saying "Oh, he's been seen too long without a public gf, he needed one." Okay, so why not find an actress in Boston, or NYC, or even L.A.? Do they have any managers or agents in common? This must be some kind of setup.

Anonymous said: What I really don’t get is why anyone is supposed to buy this stuff as real? Considering they live on different continents and in the long run, to paraphrase you a little, neither of them would likely to move. If anything, this doesn’t just look temporary, it looks tawdry and irresponsible. I have zero respect for either of them right now.

Anonymous said: did they leave the hotel only to have ice cream on park?

Anonymous said: There’s a picture of him holding her arm and one of her getting into the taxi. Looks like he followed her into it to me!

Anonymous said: both Chris and Scott have c*ke rumors about them and know he’s with a girl that has been rumored using drugs with a friends on a park what a great combo

Anonymous said: I always thought that fake relationships for PR are tacky, as using real relationships for PR is tacky (IMO). If this is fake, a hook up, or a real relationship in the beggining, being papped this way when he clearly knows how to avoid paps when he wants is tacky and cheap. And in the current moment that the world is, trash.

Anonymous said: The pictures are funny. The whole thing is funny

Anonymous said: This is giving me Bradley Cooper and Suki Waterhouse vibes. Down to the picnic in the park when they were reading Lolita. Also widely known as a PR setup to begin with and with similar star profiles (though Lily is more known than Suki was). At least someone on their staff picked up on the mask criticism. I agree it would be comical if we weren’t in the middle of a damn pandemic. But it very clearly had a distinct PR setup vibe.

Anonymous said: Do you guys noticed his watch? Completely different from what he normally wears. Actually, I think at his daily life, he doesn't wear watches.

Anonymous said: In other pics she’s looking directly at the camera

Anonymous said: I’m dying of cringe. People gave Ana de Armas so much shitty for being “thirsty”, bc you know, Chris is such a private person, but flashforward to July 2020 we have Evans eating ice cream and laying on the grass of a London park with Lily James during a pandemic. Hahahahaha. I honestly thought he could do better.

Anonymous said: It won’t even last lol, she is based in London. And this will end in a few months cuz of “hectic schedule and long distance” LOL.

Anonymous said: And if she was the ONE?

Anonymous said: I don’t know how he would manage a relationship where their in different counties and during a pandemic

Anonymous said: Remember the comments mentioning that there were no pics of Lilly entering the hotel and that maybe she stayed there just for being pictured? I wonder if the hotel bag was an answer for that? If the criticism about the masks were not unnoticed by them, to the point that for the first time she was pictured with a mask, I wonder if all this is answer for those comments and about her being treated as "dirty secret". Not damage control, but a way to control the narrative they want to sell.

Anonymous said: He’s not holding his chest while he laughs. So I don’t believe any of the pictures 😂

Anonymous said: Do u see this relationship lasting ?

Anonymous said: still from all these pictures they haven’t touched

Anonymous said: Is this on par behavior from Chris the last time he had a showmance with the other Lily?

Anonymous said: Something about this whole thing smells fishy. I just can’t put my figure on it. I have a deep feeling that this won’t last very long at all. Maybe even a month. For a new couple, they don’t seem affectionate at all. So weird honestly

Anonymous said: the one thing i can't wrap my head around is why now. I've heard rumors he has a website launch coming up? Maybe? Anybody? It really looks like he went abroad in the middle of a pandemic to see a girl. Sloppy management

Anonymous said: Being seen traveling just for fun during a pandemic shows not great judgement. Just a terrible idea to destroy any legitimacy or goodwill he had right before launching his already problematic and naive political website. Yikes.

Anonymous said: Maybe she watched DJ as Michelle is one of her friend and she sent message and that is the way all this mess started

Anonymous said: If they are dating good for them they make a cute couple but I think they way they have gone about it is not so great.

Anonymous said: I can’t even click the link you posted of the pictures cause that sneak pic I saw while I was scrolling... I cringed so hard 😬 I’m laughing honestly lol. idk if is the fact that he’s (they’re?) eating ice cream (and on a park? )or whatever, it looks so dumb to me lmao this is sending me 😂

Anonymous said: Do you think they’re actually dating then, Chris and Lily???

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s PR or real?

Anonymous said: lmfaooooo what a nice wholesome masked date in the park after being called out for no masks and looking tawdry

Anonymous said: surprise surprise the photos and the publisher are the same again

Anonymous said: Oh my goodness! Tell me he doesn’t pay attention to what’s being said about him. What a poseur. Ironically, the ET report started with celebrities like Tom Hanks stressing how important it is to stay home and wear masks. Chris is such an irresponsible jerk.

Anonymous said: 10+ pictures of them hanging for a while and none of them kissing??? Hmmm, sure Jan. They’re totally dating 🙄🙄

Anonymous said: Also, not to nitpick, but their body language doesn’t scream sex. They apparently slept together the first night, but it doesn’t show here. They should have reversed these pap walks.

Anonymous said: Chris never did that. it sure is PR

Anonymous said: This is looking more and more like the beginning stages of a relationship now. I can’t believe this is pr anymore. It seems to me like he flew to London to be with her and now they’re trying something new. I would hate for her to be the one he settles down with

Anonymous said: How do we know he’s trying to change his image, he seemed fine with how he was as far as it looked like from interviews. Have you read or heard something new about him out there?

______ said: What do you mean by'not friend zoned'? I don't get it.

Anonymous said: another blackgrid and DM exclusive. Why do this PR now?

Anonymous said: This is so staged lol.

Anonymous said: the mask in those new photos just proves he’s had one with him the entire time you wouldn’t get something like that in the uk

Anonymous said: this isn’t that deep. he was prolly there for something, has connections with her friend group, staged a walk, maybe hooked up. I would be surprised if they had been talking and dating for months. this was set up, him and Scott followed her at the same time. To your point zero pics of her inside and with her wandering around outside. Of course that was on purpose. she looks single and happy away from Matt and everyone is talking about Cpt. America & Cinderella. Just backfired and was too messy.

hagarsays said: So now that new pictures came out we can confirm they are dating now??

Anonymous said: anyone want to talk about his account previous username though joshpeck3030

Anonymous said: I’m not sure I buy him auditioning for her film. There’s a hierarchy in Hollywood. Bigger actors are usually offered roles first, and then the film is cast around them. He really hasn’t been the one up for a screen test in a long time. Like I said before, I work in this industry, and there’s a lot of ego. It is entirely possible, just highly unlikely.

Anonymous said: I wonder if we'll actually hear from Chris team closer to the weekend since it will have more impact for the weekend. Even if he was in on the pap walk it's nothing like Seb where both people actually look like they're together.

Anonymous said: What are carly & lisas instagrams? How do ppl know who follows who

Anonymous said: I think another thing to add is the JS said Chris likes to stay home and she would want to travel but he didn’t. He also said that he doesn’t like to travel in and interview. I don’t think that would change in the 2 years he’s been publicly single and 5 months in quarantine

Anonymous said: is it possible ce did some sort of screen test on like zoom or something for the paris trap before he came to the UK? idk about this whole thing. some people think because there are no pictures of lily in the hotel that she just came for the pictures then left after the paps left

Anonymous said: Makes me wonder if theres something wrong with hollywoods “most eligible” bachelors bc they’re single. If normal ppl can find love, they definitely can esp with how much exposure they get to love. Idk 🤒

Anonymous said: That Conversations at Home interview he did was dated 29th June. So he was definitely in the US last Monday.

Anonymous said: I know I'm going to get yelled at for this bc it's pap pics why does Chris look so angry in the last shots where Lily is on the other side of the gate/fence? He's also keeping alot of space from Lily at that point. Even in earlier pics he's not exactly walking next to her. I honestly don't think this was on Chris this time tbh.

Anonymous said: But what if the date was the work? If they’re setting up a long game PR relationship, maybe that’s why he went. If his next film is in London, he’ll be able to follow up with more daily mail stunts. Soon, he’ll have hey fever in the park with her friends.

Anonymous said: But logically if this wasn’t PR, which it is, this relationship would never work. The most i see is a causal summer hookup fling. She just got out of a 5 year relationship, l like JS and she lives across the pond. For someone the before the pandemic spent most of his time in MA I don’t see that changing. And lily is based in London and is an upcoming actress who, if she had to move to the states, would go to LA or NY. Not to mention mama Evans probably won’t like her “hay fever”

Anonymous said: some chris fans are so boring, we always talk about theories on fandom and it never hurt chris before. Sometimes this is entertainment, no one is hurting anyone, but there are some fans who pretend to be naive and love everything Chris does, but hate others like Jenny and Chris ex-girlfriends and are also the same fans who are chasing him on twitter like that episode in which they discovered the topics that chris follows

Anonymous said: Do you think he’s still in the UK or back in Boston?

Anonymous said: Also Lily doesn’t seem like his type whatsoever

_____ said: Also megan REALLY cleaned up chris’ image. She had to do the lord’s work of undoing every single time chris was papped pre marvel & i gotta commend her for that. What a gem, i hope she gets paid $3938383838293

Anonymous said: Two of the three people he followed were Bel Powley and Douglas Booth. He worked with Bel on Lobby Hero, and probably knows Douglas too as he is her boyfriend. Btw, where can you all see his location on IG? It doesn't appear for me at all.

Anonymous said: Do you think Chris is going to get the Emmy nom?

Anonymous said: Do you think there will be any more sightings of Chris and Lily together?

hagarsays said: I agree I truly think he really went there for work or some type of business cause I been his fans since 2016 and till now he only flys somewhere for family vacation or for businesses or movie or work he doesn’t seem the type of person to fly somewhere like London for a date cause that’s stupid THERE HAS TO BE A WORK REASON I can’t think of anything else besides work

Anonymous said: Who is this Gemma person that Chris follows? When was Chris with lily on Friday, I thought the club/taxi/hotel was Saturday?

Anonymous said: the last two were the girl who worked in Lobby hero and her boyfriend !! I already knew them !! And to add the location of Instagram is not so precise, I say it because I follow people and I see that their location is different on Instagram. another example, sebas is in USA but it was seen yesterday in Spain !!

Anonymous said: the last people he followed on instagram are British actors, maybe it’s a project to come

Anonymous said: Do you think Chris and Lily are dating?

Anonymous said: He follows her friends? That’s so weird to do after one date unless they’ve met before. I don’t feel like this is pr anymore

Anonymous said: it's funny, because Sebastian's account is based in the USA and he's in Spain, same with Chris Pratt! Something it’s not right

_____ said: Just going back to if chris is cheap/sleazy irl, i definitely think he used to be sleazy & the residual effect is left. On deuxmoi, ppl talk abt him going to taipei to hook up w ppl (while filming push) & he hooked up when he was in LA last month. (Not slut shaming) but just pointing to the fact that chris doesnt have the steve rogers personality most ppl think

Anonymous said: I can’t stand Lily’s friend Gemma. Don’t know why but there’s just something about her that grates on me.

hagarsays said: I will die of laughter if there a statement from either team saying they aren’t together but they where seen because they might start in a movie together that we don’t know about yet😂😂

Anonymous said: Does anyone from Chris's inner circle apart from Scott and Carly follow Lily on IG? That may be a good indication of whether this is real or PR/hookup or a relationship. Also, it's hard to believe that they started dating before lockdown like that anon claims given that they were on separate continents. Also, she wasn't even in the first batch of people he followed on IG. Wouldn't his gf be one of his first follows?

Anonymous said: I have a friend from England on Twitter and we've all been talking about this. She said the travel quarantine mandate for the US doesn't start until July 10. They have their own separate rules from the EU.

Anonymous said: Twitter is full of mentions of the new beautiful couple alert. People do romanticize everything that involves beautiful people. Even what seems tasteless PR/ booty call during a pandemic.

Anonymous said: I was looking at the pictures from Chris and Lily Collins date and at least they looked like that could be a date. I would be disappointed if Chris and Lily J announces they are dating after those embarrassing pictures trying to enter his hotel from different entrances. They clearly knew they were followed by paparazzi so they can’t denied they were busted. So tacky.

Anonymous said: What I'm trying to figure out is how they would try to play the long game. There are so far no films he would be involved in shooting in the UK. Unless he flies back and forth expeditiously, which once again bad idea, I think even publications would side eye it. The Blast, even though they seem like a fan blog, pointed out fans nonetheless found a discrepancy that this more than likely the first weekend they met. No way a physical relationship has taken place prior. I can't wait to see how they

Anonymous said: 2),because it's going to be flawed and totally dangerous to keep up. Possibly he could still be in the UK but not for long. I don't understand what they thought to accomplish. Unless there is a real relationship but there is too many plot points pointing to this either being new or fake. Like you said he can throw around as many big words as he likes it doesn't make up for the lack of common sense. I truly believe whatever happens next will be pulled out of his ass unless megan orchestrates it.

Anonymous said: I noticed how Chris keeps saying that he doesn't care about how he's perceived in recent interviews. I mean, it's obvious he does, right? He sits and checks his Twitter mentions for god's sake! Do we have any idea about whether he's back home yet?

Anonymous said: “press about skeavy side entrance hookups during a pandemic is quite an image overhaul for the two of them” Why are we still going with the side/back door story? New pics of him inside & she’s nowhere in sight. Maybe she was just standing at the side/back door while she was on the phone arranging her ride out of there or where she was going next, alone, & didn’t need to stand at the front since she wasn’t going inside?

Anonymous said: I hope lilly knows even after Chris is long gone that's all people are going to ask her about. She could win an award and one sentence would be about that the rest about how she dated/hooked up with captain america. If I wanted to be known for something I wouldn't be romantically linked to Chris lol. His captain america image follows him like herpes and attaches to anyone less famous he comes in contact with. Even Scarlett gets asked and she's just a friend.

Anonymous said: I feel like Chris is trying to go for a Clooney/Pitt/DiCaprio image. Sexy bachelor that every woman desires and is a serious actor. He has the superhero thing in common with Clooney😂

Anonymous said: Another question: did he intend his blatant disregard for human life to be showcased as well? Or was that just a fun bonus?

Anonymous said: I was actually wondering about image overhaul, but then why did he spend a year launches political site and trying to look respectable? He wants to play both sides? Also, doesn’t this make the intern hookup seem more plausible now? Poor judgment is his thing

Anonymous said: I wonder if this is his way of casting off the good guy Cap rep Marvel built him, and letting the world know he’s a real Boston douche. I actually remember that I didn’t like him pre-Cap. He used to strike me as annoying. I thought I was wrong about that, but, now….

Anonymous said: Something struck me with those new pics. I know we are making assumptions that maybe she didn't enter but if that was the case, why he was at the lobby of the hotel after entering it? It seems that he is trying to get permission for her, you know what I mean?

Anonymous said: Since as of now there isn’t anything about Chris and lily situation as of now can we move on and talks about anything until we get something new or important to talk about cause we haven’t gotten anything since yesterday😂

Anonymous said: (1/2) Idk what this is but the problem is the WORLD is in the middle of pandemic & he traveled to the UK to party into the night. The same wknd thousands of ppl flooded the streets of London because pubs reopened. If it's a PR stunt, I don't understand it at all because it makes him look privileged & out of touch. Especially w/ this club being an exclusive club for the rich 🙄. I'm just taken aback because he's been maintaining a mature image with ASP & social justice things lately. (2/2) He seemed to wear a mask at the BLM protest & then suddenly he's stunting in LDN in the middle of a pandemic? Right before his website is about to launch? What I do find interesting about the pics is they remind me of the Tom Hiddleston & Elizabeth Olsen pics in London from 2015. And idk how Chris & Lily could have had something this entire quarantine because there are pics of her w/ Matt Smith from May 15, so this would've been a very distant & fast relationship to suddenly have 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anonymous said: so they said was is single? in ET or did they just say same as the articles !!

Anonymous said: I just rewatched the Entertainment Tonight segment and it was mentioned that when Chris and Lily spotted the paps in the cab they decided that Chris would go in one entrance and Lily to a different entrance. It just said there were rumors of them being romantically involved. No mention about reaching out to their PR teams about this. So still don’t know what to think 🤔

Anonymous said: Is there a possibility that Chris knows his ASP endeavor was a waste of time and money and lost likely will be considered a failure? Therefor stepping out with a new woman as a distraction is the easiest way to make people forget (since he is one of Hollywood’s most eligible bachelors).

_____ said: Is anyone else noticing a sudden influx of articles essentially flushing the daily fail and other articles out mentioning them? I’ve seen 6 so far. 😂

Anonymous said: Someone on deuxmoi say that her friend hookup with Chris when he was in LA recently

Anonymous said: Do you think the ET coverage makes it more likely that it’s PR?

hagarsays said: You think we will every get any confirmation or statement from Chris and lily rumor romance cause every media outlets are taking about it reaching out for comment like I’m surprised they didn’t say anything YET it makes me think they want to people what they want to think

Anonymous said: Why is she walking to the front glass doors in one photo and then walks around more to the back? But the photos of him released today he was inside the glass doors and she was no where seen. Was she already at the back door and when did she take her little stroll to the front and he wasn’t there.

Anonymous said: I wanted to ask after you made that comment about in the past Chris’ team would mention he is still single or dating around if seen with a woman. So my question is since nothing was said from his team could they really be together?

Anonymous said: Just curious, why do you say Chris was never serious about his relationship with Jenny? I wasn’t around then

Anonymous said: They obviously didn’t make out in the cab. That’s really hot and heavy for a hook up. 🙄 Neither showed much emotion or smiles or anticipation. They looked quite bored actually. You’d think they’d get out and laugh about the situation. He looks panicked. This is Chris right?

Anonymous said: What was the PR issued statement with subsequent Minka days (I remember the first one being “she did a number on his head...which should have been a red flag for MK). I don’t remember the other rounds, though

Anonymous said: BBC Series ‘The Pursuit Of Love starring her is set to film late July in Bristol. No male lead has been posted on IMBD. Wondering if that’s why he was in London and getting them papped would sell that story. Wondering if Chris would do a BBC series, also Emily Mortimer is directing and that looks to be her first directing project (what I can see on IMBD)

Anonymous said: Why would a couple who was together want to pretend to not be together knowing the paparazzi was there? Do they get paid for an exclusive scoop so they make an effort to not look official? If they are together why not look happy & go in together? Why the smoke and mirrors? Is this because he’s not committed yet? If he’s dating her he was really rude. Wouldn’t a cute picture be a better win? They could go with couple or friends even work spin. This looks shady esp knowing the cameras were there.

Anonymous said: I was just reading what you said about the Entertainment Tonight segment that if Chris and Lily being together was that he was “still single” or dating around from his team but since they didn’t say anything yet could it be tru they are really together? Just curious

Anonymous said: Are you still thinking this is a stunt

Anonymous said: This whole thing is getting rehashed over&over again&if no new pics come out it'll be just like the other Lily where when they talk about their relationships she will have once been linked to Captain American star Chris Evans. Its same thing with J.S. most gossip sites can't mention her without him&it'll bring up articles with her name when you search him. The funniest thing I've heard about it is that according to ET they went in separate doors cause they spotted the paps.

Anonymous said: Do you think they'll be anymore pics released from that night or is that all of them, also has anyone picked up on the new pics of him or are they not bothering.

Anonymous said: I agree that this was most likely a PR stunt from Lily’s team, but it’s not like she’s completely unknown. She’s def more known and well regarded in the industry than Minka and Jenny. I don’t think she’s necessarily “using his fame” since they both agreed to the stunt. If anything, it maybe benefits both of them for the time being. Lily is well off without Chris’ money and status imo.

Anonymous said: I have a bad chronical hay fever and I... don't put medicine in my nose that way???? Seriously. Do I do it wrong?🤔

Anonymous said: I’m not even sure US Weekly came from Megan. When she puts together something there is sources who are friends etc. Even with Lilly Collins. US weekly seemed to be more on her info than him. What do you think

Anonymous said: So she was photographed sniffing and nothing happened? This is a white privilege, black people are murdered for walking on the streets. is this what Chris wants for him? That kind of privilege?

Anonymous said: Besides him traveling during a pandemic, no masks and whatnot is wrong on so many levels and can’t be defended. Some who follow Chris I think this is so weird as he says one thing and totally does the opposite. He wants a family life and carve pumpkins yet does Pr with Lily who is in Primrose Hill group that all kinda posh and party. It’s just confusing but entertaining 😆

Anonymous said: If it is just PR, why didn’t he pick someone local? Was his entire business in London being papped? He could have taken a page out of Ana and Ben’s book, and been papped in LA. Hell, he could have even photobombed their pap walk with his or date and gotten free coverage.

Anonymous said: I think that maybe we should stop talking about the women he dates or is linked with and start thinking of what them show about him as a person. I'm still waiting to see one that is smart and talented and has her own career, or business, for her own merits. The type of woman that a confident straight man would be proud to have at his side, you know? Maybe those one run away from him?

Anonymous said: "Why does Chris seem to have such bad taste in women?" /// maybe it's because if he was with a good woman she'll call him on his bullshit unlike the circle of yes men/ women he probably prefers and he doesn't want that per say so he retreats to women who enable him and when he gets tired drops them to the side and let's his fans eat them alive, since he almighty can do no wrong in their eyes so whatever happens it must be the women who were never "good" in the first place

Anonymous said: This is like totally random and idk if I’m the only one who thinks about stuff like this lol, but do you ever think about what Chris’ mom and other family member think about this whole lily thing?

Anonymous said: Well non of his inner circle of friends follow her yet so that's something 😂

Anonymous said: Now an anon's friend's cousin's mailman's building maintenance's 3rd grade teacher KNOWS abt this "months-long romance?" Ok. IT DOESNT MATTER if real or pr, new or old --- if they're sooo familiar with each other: 1. Why not stay in his/their luxury hotel and "make out" so to not get 'visibly' caught by anons, and 2. Why not arrange for her visit/stay at the hotel BEFORE even coming to the UK, let alone while on the cab ride after CLEARLY being pap'd, if they've been "courting" so long???? Mess.

Anonymous said: I can't imagine this English rose in Chris Boston friends circle if they actually a thing. Jenny and Minka fitted there and It looked like they were friends with his buddies wife's/girlfriends. At least at those moments they dated Chris. Lily is too posh and to immature for Chris friends. But this is just my opinion.

Anonymous said: Do you think they’ll continue or will it be swept away like Lily Collins?

Anonymous said: I know it’s impossible to say at this point, but how long do you think a PR showmance like this will last? He’s obviously done it before but I wasn’t very active in the fandom then.

Anonymous said: “classy isn’t her signature pap stroll” 🤣 i love you 😘 😂 Chris really likes cheap girls.

Anonymous said: Does Chris just not care about his image? Why would he be okay with PR/pap pics that make it look like he was having some cheap prostitute sneaking in his hotel? This could have been done so much better without it making it look like either one of them is trash. Why does he wanna look like trash?

Anonymous said: LOL Last time I checked you don’t blow your nose not with a slender piece of paper that looks like you are snorting something. Keep it classy Chris Evans. Keeping it classy.

Anonymous said: Talking of not a good look, your jealousy is coming through as hatred. I think you need to back away from the fandom

Anonymous said: Maybe this is his new image. He’s put out stories twice now about dating around. Maybe implied promiscuity wasn’t enough. He wants us to really know he sleeps around and to get used to seeing him do it, perhaps? Or he genuinely likes her and she’s allowing him to reveal his inner sleaze bag?

Anonymous said: Huuum... Minka now looks classier than her. Lol

Anonymous said: Also to note both Chris and Sebastian are signed to CAA. Stan signed with them on late may and now is going yatching to Ibiza with a foreign women that curiously has the right passport to enter the country. Chris and James looking straight at the paps. Both couples photographed by Backgrid. 👀

Anonymous said: Sebastian was seen with a fan there picture on twitter and he not wearing a mask he been see 3 times with no mask in Ibiza and Chris was only see with no mask once in London😂😂😂

Anonymous said: If they do have some kind of relationship, this might actually work, since he’s shown here he’s willing to ridiculous pap stunts. He didn’t do those for Minka and Jenny.

Anonymous said: Well since people are busting their chops. I think there is 3 options going forward. They double down on their ignorance (if they do hopefully they adhere to safety standards next time), he let's it fade away with no further mention, or the unlikely option his team releases a statement apologizing for the lack of safety/denying or confirming their relationship. Either way nobody but us is taking particular interest anymore. It was a flop.

Anonymous said: If you guys though Chris was worse look at Sebastian he was just seen taking a picture with a fan and wearing no mask and him and his GF was seen with no mask and while Chris didn’t take pictures with fans and wasn’t seen with lily at all since Saturday

Anonymous said: So is the new image supposed to make him look like a jerk? I don’t buy the new image thing. We’ve seen him where it looks genuine being polite to women. This group of pics just looks strange; he looks not very impressed and she looks like she has a chip on her shoulder.

Anonymous said: He went from 4.5 to 4.6 million followers on insta and 120 tweet per day to 1120 per hour. People are taking and this stunt worked. And like you said not money shot of her IN the hotel. My money is on that she is still with Matt but her team is going to play it like he got jealous of her male attention and came crawling back.

Anonymous said: Also-he was so in and out of London. Like what in Thursday/Friday out Sunday...if you were seeing a girl...you are flying to London for more than 72 hours.

Anonymous said: Now an anon's friend's cousin's mailman's building maintenance's 3rd grade teacher KNOWS abt this "months-long romance?" Ok. IT DOESNT MATTER if real or pr, new or old --- if they're sooo familiar with each other: 1. Why not stay in his/their luxury hotel and "make out" so to not get 'visibly' caught by anons, and 2. Why not arrange for her visit/stay at the hotel BEFORE even coming to the UK, let alone while in the cab ride after CLEARLY being pap'd, if they've been "courting" so long???? Mess.

Anonymous said: A showrunner from a TV show I follow resumes filming today in London. She has been isolating there for the last two weeks and posting discussing her quarantine. It wasn’t required since she was there to film. She did it because she has common sense and cares about people’s health. It’s really not too much to ask of people.

Anonymous said: I don't know if really his like was real? I say this because What a coincidence he like tweet of black Raven? a very critical account about him !! If there are screenshots of Chris's Twitter account on his likes, I will believe it !!

Anonymous said: The new pics make it worse for me simply because it shows him inside, close to staff, with disregard for masks. As someone else said, just because it isn’t required there doesn’t make it better. He’s a news watching American. He knows what the guidelines are. Him looking at the camera and her possibly not going in just makes this whole stunt even more stupid. It was irresponsible. Period.

Anonymous said: My head are spinning from all the theories I read about those pictures. Are they dating, are they doing this for pr, maybe Chris didn't knew about paparazzi, maybe she's already moving with him to Boston... oh boy 🤕

Anonymous said: This whole thing makes no sense. He stands inside while lilly walks around outside. The like makes no sense, but that was an accident I assume. Which makes me believe he's going through his mentions and knows people are pissed about the masks. If this is bad pr they should stop while they're ahead. If they're dating good for them keep it to themselves cause people are already doubting this crap. This thing is unbelievable and ridiculous, you're right he's not as smart as he seems so probably 2) Anonymous said: had a significant role in this. Maybe he does believe he needs the pr. Also I wouldn't believe anything an anon source says is from someone close to them. If they want this bs official they'll leak it to us weekly or some other junkie outlet they're dating. I think they're testing the waters with this pr stunt to see how much they can milk attention. I'm disappointed in Chris for even thinking this is acceptable.

Anonymous said: Yikes. He's gotta be as dumb as a box of rocks if he knew about the paps and still thought her going in the back way was a good idea. He's really not that smart (I think people play up his intelligence a lot), but with how tightly he's kept his private life shut down since Jenny, I find this to be strange, to say the least.

Anonymous said: I don't know if really his like was real? I say this because what a coincidence he like tweet of black Raven? a very critical account about him !! If there are screenshots of Chris's Twitter account on his likes, I will believe it !!

Anonymous said: The fact that he’s looking at his mentions just confirms my feelings of If being fake🤷‍♀️

Anonymous said: For me his behaviour this weekend was way worse than homewrecking a marriage, which affected few people. I didn't come back to the fandom after JS with the same energy I had before. Maybe this is what I need to leave. I never thought he was perfect or incapable of doing mistakes. But there are too many information out there right now about the virus. This left me with a taste of arrogance from his part.

Anonymous said: So we have money shots of him in the hotel but not her 🤔 but DM is the UK TMZ they are sleazy. They would have not problem waiting around for her to go in and leave his hotel. She could have never gone in or she could been in there but why not release them. There’s so many signs of this being fake but believable to people that don’t follow Chris/Lily/PR.

Anonymous said: the fact that he deleted two tweets just after post is a signal that his not that happy with this situation

Anonymous said: I also think maybe it’s why this was her team vs Megan. Even like his articles have “sources” of they are just having fun blah blah. Not even DM or any of the US ones have his team surrounding it. They are recycling DM as the source and no reps have confirmed or commented on anything. I think he wanted a sloppy night and she documented it. And also why it was posted later so Megan could get a handle on it.

Anonymous said: now we have pics of him in the lobby of the hotel but none of her so she really entered in the back door or she didn't even entered on the hotel

Anonymous said: Why would PR want ppl to see Chris as sleazy? Also why would Chris want ppl to think he’s sleazy? If he knew paps were there & was okay with the whole back door thing, looking like some hookup that was caught or something. Why would he be okay with that? Even if that’s not what really happened, why would he be okay with being looked at like that?

Anonymous said: ASP today posted and immediately deleted posts from instagram and twitter. I wonder if he's already regret this dumb trip to see a girl. I wonder what Mark K and Joe K thinking about this.

Anonymous said: “cheap, sloppy and sleazy are his hallmarks in real life” can you further explain this? I’m having one of those days, and I think I’m understanding it correctly but I just wanna make sure

Anonymous said: So why did he do this? I mean the PR game. The guy does not need this

Anonymous said: Can I ask your opinion do you think they hooked up or just a set up pap shlt as we don't see her enter the hotel

Anonymous said: Are you still saying it’s pr or have u changed your mind

Anonymous said: I'm a little bit lost here. He truly liked and disliked the tweet? It's ironic that yesterday you mentioned that there were no pics of him getting inside and today they are here. I wonder if pics of her will show up later or tomorrow. This wouldn't bother me at all in a normal situation. But the moment makes all cheap and irresponsible. Maybe cheap and dumb is what he is? Maybe that's why the asks in interviews are all the same. Not for privacy, but to avoid dumb answers.

Anonymous said: I wasn’t in the fandom yet, but from what I’ve heard about Chris in his 20s, it sounds like he had a “cheap, sloppy and sleazy” vibe back then too. And he had a cleaner image once he started doing the Marvel movies. Now that he’s done with Marvel maybe he’s showing his true colors

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twinklecheeks · 5 years ago

Text

Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 2

Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.

Note: Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does. You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.

Warnings! pregnancy, abortion? mentions of sex.

Part 1

Word Count: 2.4k

Y/n doesn’t know what to do. A million scenarios were going on in your head. “What if I tell him and he doesn’t want it? What if I never tell him and I get an abortion? I mean my body, my choice, right? What if I leave youtube, pull off a Kylie Jenner and reveal it to the world when it’s born? What if I put it up for adoption? Would I choose a closed adoption or an open adoption?” As all these scenarios are running through your head, the doctor asks if you want pictures. “Ummm yeah sure.” This just feels like a nightmare to y/n. The doctor is ready to discharge you and you take an uber home. You feel a buzz in your pocket and it was a text from David. “Hey you should come over and film tonight. We’re messing around with helium and stuff that messes with your voice.” You were about to say yes until you remembered that you were with child. Helium is probably not the best for pregnancy…. “Sorry I can’t come today. Not feeling too well.” “Damn maybe tomorrow. I pulled a prank of Jason’s new tesla and I need some reactions.” “Sure, I’ll be there.” You finally arrive home and you just feel super overwhelmed. Your anxiety already fucks with you at random times and now add the pregnancy hormones, that just sounds like a recipe for disaster. You decide to text Carly and Erin in y’alls gc. They have basically been you best friends since you’ve been a part of the vlog squad but you don’t know if they’ll be pissed once you reveal your secret relationship w/ Jeff. “Heyy, can you guys come over rn? I have to tell you guys a secret and you’re the only people I can trust at the moment.” Erin: “Sure. Well be there in like an hour or so. Carly and I are filming a bit with David. Probably won’t take long.” “Okay great. See you later.” Carly reads the messages from her phone and whispers “sounds serious, what do you think she’s gonna tell us?” “I don’t know. Just hope she isn’t dying or something.”

You say to yourself, “Since Carly and Erin are gonna be here in an hour, I should get pregnancy tests from the store. Just hope no fans recognize me.” You try to dress incognito and you remembered you had some expensive ass wigs in you closet (you’re a boujee ass college student lol) Once you glue the wig on, you get in your tesla (like the tesla Carly has) and you head to target. You have your hood up and sunglasses on like you’re some sort of fbi agent or something. You head to the aisle the pregnancy tests are in and see the condoms right by there and you mumble to yourself “if you woulda just taken the time to come to target and buy those, you wouldn’t be in this mess you dumb bitch.” You grab a couple of the electronic pregnancy tests cause like my bio says “i radiate dumb bitch energy.” You get home, take off the wig and read the text that says they’re 5 minutes away.

*Carly and Erin pov*

“How much you wanna bet that she has a thing for someone in the squad.” “CARLY.”

*Y/n pov*

You hear a knock at the door “heyyy” you say in an awkward tone. Erin sees the hospital bracelets on your wrist. “Oh god you are dying” Y/n: “ERIN WHAT THE- NO ARE YOU CRAZY” All of you head to the couch and you have a hard time telling them so you say it really fast “SooooIjustfoundouti’mpregantandyou’regonnabeauntsmaybe.” Carly didn’t catch any of that but all Erin heard were the two big words. Both of them start screaming out stuff like “YOU’RE PREGNANT” “WHAT” “WHO’S IS IT.” Y/n: “Okay okay okay. I’m gonna tell you guys everything.” So you ended up telling them the saga of you and Jeff’s relationship. Carly: “ITS. JEFF’S.” Y/n:“That’s all you have to say?” Erin: “You have to take another test. This can’t be right.” You go to the bathroom and 5 minutes later, the test says ‘pregnant.’ Erin: “ummm how about you go to a doctor so they can run some tests.” Y/n:“I already got a blood test done in the ER. Nothing is more accurate than a blood test.” Carly: “when are you due.” Y/n:“Early April I think.” Erin:“So you’re not gonna make it to my wedding?” Y/n:“Oh shit you get married in April. Dammit.” Carly: “So what are you gonna do?” Y/n:“I honestly have no idea. I just feel like he’s gonna deny everything and say its not his. He’s the only guy I’ve been sleeping w/ since New Years.” Erin: “well, whatever you decide, we’ll support you. Hopefully I’ll have a newborn baby to be my ring bearer or flower girl.” You smiled just thinking about that. Before you knew it, It started to get dark and both of them left. You didn’t want to be alone tonight, so you decided to facetime one of your other best friends. Y/n:“Hey Stass. You wanna have a girl’s night? Stassie: Sorry, I’m already having a girl’s night at Kylie’s house. You hear Kylie yell in the background “YOU CAN COME TO MY HOUSE.” Y/n: “Thanks, I’ll be there in a bit.” Two years ago, you would’ve never thought that you’d be friends with Kylie Jenner. You two hit it off when she invited the vlog squad to a roller rink to celebrate her becoming a billionaire.

You arrived at her mansion, finding both of them upstairs sitting on the floor in the nursery, playing with Stormi. You’re thinking about telling Kylie and ask her for advice. She’d completely understand; she had a baby at 20 and the whole world had eyes on her not knowing whether she was or wasn’t pregnant. You don’t mind if Stass knows because she helped keep Kylie’s pregnancy a secret, so you know she won’t tell anyone. Y/n:“I have to talk to you guys about something.” Kylie: “Sure. About what?” Y/n:“I’m pregnant.” Kylie and Stass: “YOU’RE WHAT.” Y/n:“Why is it so surprising that I’m pregnant.” Kylie: “who’s is it.” Stass: “it’s probably Jeff’s.” Your eyes go wide as she said that, Stass: “and just by the look on your face, you just confirmed it.” Kylie: “is Jeff the fit one with the New York accent?” “Yeah.” Kylie: “Ooooo he’s hot. So what about pregnancy did you wanna talk about?” Before you ask about pregnancy, you had to tell the whole saga for the second time today. Y/n:“I just don’t know what I should do. How did you feel when you found out?” Kylie: “well, I was shocked at first but then I got excited. Did I plan on getting pregnant so young? No. But I know I’ve always wanted to be a mom. Yeah, motherhood came earlier than expected but I honestly can’t imagine my life without Stormi. Hiding it from the public wasn’t easy but I’m lucky that I had people I could trust to hide my secret. And if Jeff doesn’t accept the baby as his, then screw him. He’ll look like the asshole for leaving. So what do you want to do?” Y/n:“I think I want to keep it a secret but that gonna be really hard because 1. I’m a youtuber and people are gonna see me gain weight, 2. I’m a college student and I have to go on campus for classes. Stass: “Can you look and see if they’re offering online courses for the classes you need to take?” Y/n:“Probably but I don’t want to die of boredom and stay in my house all the time.” Kylie: “I didn’t stay in my house all the time. I just had a lot of security around me 24/7. I bought more cars and switched between them all the time so the paparazzi would be confused. I made sure to wear baggy clothes all the time. I really didn’t start to show that much until I was almost 5 months pregnant.” Y/n:“I’d be 5 months by the time the semester ends for winter break. Should I risk it? Kylie: “I don’t know. Every body is different.” Y/n:“Thanks for the advice Ky.” Kylie: “No problem. You can always come to me for baby advice. I can help you prep. Stormi might not be right baby to start off practicing with but you’re lucky Kim just had a baby in May.” Y/n:“Are you sure she’d be okay with you borrowing Psalm to teach me how to be a mom?” Kylie: “Are you kidding. She’d love it. She has 4 kids under 6 years old. She needs a break. Oh and when it’s time to find out the gender, you HAVE to let me plan the gender reveal and baby shower.” Y/n:“haha okay.” Kylie then takes a vid of y’all playing with Stormi and posts it on her insta story captioning it ‘girls night❤️’

You wake up the next morning not feeling great at all. Kylie: “Drink ginger ale or really bitter lemonade. It helped me with my morning sickness.” Y/n:“Thanks. I should get going. I have to get to class in a couple of hours. I’ll text you later.” Kylie & Stass: “call us as soon as you figure out what you’re gonna do” Y/n:“k, bye”

Y/n talking to herself while driving home:

It probably wasn’t the best decision telling 4 people that I’m pregnant cause I’m not past the 1st trimester yet but I just couldn’t keep it in. I had to vent to someone! I’m scared of telling Jeff but I’m 1000x times more scared of telling my parents. When should I tell them? I mean, I’m flying to Seattle next month for a couple days for my moms birthday…. is that a bad time to tell them both?? I mean, my mom has been begging for grandchildren for the past couple of years. There was one time in high school where I was typing an essay in my room and my mom randomly comes in and says “mija, cuando tu tienes un hijo, nombrarlo después de mí” like who tf says that to a 17 year old? What was I gonna do today? I have class later but- Oh shit. I said I was going to David’s today to film a prank reaction. I hope I don’t have to be in the same clip as Jeff. Luckily your class is only an hour long and so you got home, quickly showered and went to class.

As you got out of class, you hear a ding from your phone. David: “Are you on you way?” Y/n:“Yeah I’m like 30 minutes away.” As you’re driving down David’s street, you see 4 people. David, Jason’s mom, Erin and?.... Of course it would be Jeff. You get out of your tesla and David is getting the camera ready. He opens the gate and you see Jason dressed as Carmelita, showing his genitals all over the car. Everybody is screaming. “NOOOOO OH MY GOD” Jeff: “HOW CAN YOU SHOW THAT TO HIS MOTHER?” Jason’s mom is laughing hysterically. After a couple of minutes, he stopped recording and invited us all in. You haven’t been to David’s house since the incident with Jeff but you were acting as if nothing happened. You were just acting really quiet around Jeff because you’re literally pregnant with his child and have no idea how to tell him. Jeff: “Hey y/n haven’t seen you around lately” all you said was ‘hey” while looking at your phone. Jeff: “What you’re not even gonna look at me? You think cause you’re hanging out with Kylie Jenner, you’re too good for us?” Y/n: “Us? You’re literally making no fucking sense rn, I’ve talked and hung out with everyone except you. Plus why would you care? You kicked me to the curb like I was a piece of trash. Not sorry that I wanna be treated right.” Jeff pulls you to the backyard. Y/n:“Get the fuck off me” Jeff: “why the fuck are you acting like this?” Y/n:“like what? A person who’s finally standing up for herself? I don’t need you and why would you care what i’m doing? Last thing I remember is that you’re with Natalie. I hope you treating her like an actual person, unlike how you treated me. Playing around and fucking me like I was you’re toy.” Jeff: “You consented.” Y/n:“Yeah but now I realize I was dumb as fuck saying yes so many times.” At this moment, you were contemplating whether you should just tell him. You were about to tell him until the last sentence he said left you livid. Jeff: “You said yes cause you were desperate sweetheart. You fucked like a whore. I probably wasn’t the only one you were sleeping with.” At this point, you just wanted to run him over with a car. You didn’t want to be the stereotypical raging Latina so all you said as you were walking away was “Goodbye Jeff.” You didn’t even turn around. Everybody in the house from David, Jason’s mom and Erin heard every single word. On the drive home you made your decision. You’re not telling Jeff it’s his and you’re raising this baby alone. Since you’re still in the first trimester, you’ll keep it to yourself just a little bit longer before you tell the rest of the vlog squad.

*One Month later*

Y/n is officially past the 1st trimester. I’m now 13 weeks. You look in the mirror and see a tiny little bump forming. You telling your parents last week wasn’t the best… Your mom was excited but disappointed; your dad couldn’t even look at you. Your older siblings stuck by you. But now that you have the biggest obstacle out of the way, you have to tell the vlog squad... I wonder how this will go...

----------------------

I’m surprised at how many people liked chapter 1! It was confusing for me switching back from saying you & y/n but I think I did better in this part. Oh and I’m not sure if I’ll be writing as much as I am in the future. I think the minimum will be 1k words but I’ll probably write more than that.

Oh and just a heads up, I’m starting school at the end of the month! I’ll try to release as many chapters as I can write in the next 3 weeks.

Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @irisindigonightmare

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